And so the circle turns..

How quickly the focus can change... I don't know if I'm articulate enough to explain the profound way that fate has reminded me that life is a circle.. ( I think one day I'm gonna have to pay Karenna to ghost write my blogs to get the words out better ..)

Since friday - much has happened to change my focus.
My sister & my brand new nephew arrived here over the weekend & there is a real reminder that there is always a New life waiting in the wings, demanding attention & more than able to fill up the space in your heart ...& home!

My waking hours have been filled not with introspection & saddness for others...but a never-ending flurry of activity & noise- & a LOT of STUFF ( gees I forgot how much STUFF new babies need ~lol...)

& time.. they take up allllll your time - this from the woman who sorta didn't quite make it out the door to the gym this AM because spending time with a little person seems to have taken over my whole morning :) Not entirely a bad thing in the big picture I suppose..

So I'll make this quick ,as the boy is waking up from a brief nap... & we're maybe gonna head out for a walk in the sunshine... I'll just say thanks for all your thoughts...I'll have to catch up on your worlds a bit later..
Hope you're all well & continuing to enjoy the "good" momments that life brings

I am :D

Ok.. Big breath..

I'm gonna write this out .. Unfortunately it won't change a thing ..& really wonder if I'm just dragging everyone down into my funk by doing this.. I'm rarely one to write about to much of the 'serious" stuff in my world - because somewhere in my brain I have been taught to "keep those things to myself" that by blabbing about them I'm looking for "oh poor you" that is "selfish" or not "proper"..Great stuff the hard wiring from our upbringing eh?

Ok enough stalling- as I told Suze the other day on the phone when she had the misfortune to ask me "how things are" Do you really wanna know? For you in Blogland.. If not- wander off now - Go find something "cheery" to read!

In the past week in my world a series of things have happened.. One of the girls I work with who has a 5 yr old & has been trying since just told us a week ago that she's Pregnant... Well not anymore. I can't even imagine her pain...
The same day I learned that --I learned that one of the older ladies that works in our dietary ( you know those cute little bustling cheery round ladies) well I had seen her Wednesday serving out the dinner for our pts & apparently Thursday on her days off she had an aneurysm burst & by Friday she was gone.

then to top it off ... Some of you might remember me blogging about a friend of mine I call "Mother May " or "Auntie May".. She was diagnosed with Lung Cancer just mere months ago... Well I got a call from her son while I was at work Mon night & he told me she was in the Hospital & Not doing well- that they had to have her back in there just to manage her pain ; that they had found it was in her bones & they were checking to see if it had traveled to her brain.
So I called one of the other girls I work with & we set up plans to go in & see her
Wed AM.... Paul called me back Tues eve to say she had just died.
Yea just a bit much all at once....
I guess All I can say what has been expressed out here in Blogland by others in times like this.. Hugs your kids, your family & friends . & simply try to enjoy this precious gift we have of "life"

What to say..

Well it's been kinda a difficult week for me...some pretty heavy things goin on .. but I'm getting thru it.
That's why & posted the previous "joke" that my aunt had sent me... how very Ironic that I get told "I'm funny" & it's "my best post ever"..geees Am I really that boring the rest of the time ?
makes ya wonder...
any who here's this then... in keeping with Janel's video.. more people to watch dance! besides, it's on my Ipod & I like it

http://www.webratsmusic.com/" target=blank>
Pon De Replay

Add a video to your site Webratsmusic.com

A story we might all appreciate! .....Tee hee..

Dear Diary;

For my 40th Birthday this year, my husband (the dear) purchased a
week of personal training at the local gym for me.

Although I am still in great shape since my track and field days
some 25 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and
give it a try.

I called the gym and made my reservations with a personal trainer
named Damon, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics
instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. -(YUMM)

My husband seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started!

The gym encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.


Monday;

Started my day at 6:00am. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was
well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Damon
waiting for me.

He is something of a Greek god - with blond hair , seductive eyes
and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!! Damon gave me a tour and
showed me the machines. He took my pulse after five minutes on
the treadmill and was alarmed that it was so fast, but I attribute
it to standing next to him in his gym top and bulging shorts.

I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his
aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring. Damon was
encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching
from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to be
a FANTASTIC week!!

Tuesday:

I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door.
Damon made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into
the air - then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on
the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Damon's rewarding smile made
it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT!! It's a whole new life for me.

Wednesday:

The only way I can brush my teeth is by lying the toothbrush on the
counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have
a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try
to steer or stop. I ran over the gym manager in the parking lot.
Damon was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered
other club members. His voice is a little too perky for this early
in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that
is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so
he put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a
machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators?
Damon told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He said
some other shit too.

Thursday:

Damon was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his
thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help
being a half an hour late; it took me that long to tie my shoes.
Damon took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking,
I ran and hid in the women's change room. He sent Cheryl to find me,
then, as punishment, put me on the rowing machine - which I sank.

Friday:

I hate that bastard Damon more than any human being has ever hated
any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid,
masochistic gym-jock. If there was a part of my body I could move
without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it. He wanted me to
work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want
dents in the floor,don't hand me the *&%#(#&**!!@*@ barbells or anything
that weighs more than a sandwich. (Which I am sure you learned in the
sadist school you attended and graduated magna cum laude from.)The
treadmill flung me off and I landed on the nutrition advisor. Why
couldn't it have been someone big and soft, like an ice-cream salesman
or a fireman?

Saturday:

Damon left a message on my answering machine in his grating, whining
voice, wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing him made
me want to smash the machine with my rolling pin. However, I lacked
the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven
straight hours of the Weather Channel.

Sunday:

I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go
and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next
year my husband(the bastard) will choose a gift for me that is
fun -like a root canal or a pap smear!

No wonder!...

So I have the gall to "wonder" how I manage NOT to do well when we have nights like this!!!
Ok So this eve was a LITTLE over the top even for us! (lol~)-- friends of ours JUST got engaged & Jamie is going to be the best man . Not to mention that Daryll just found out that he's been accepted to the new job he applied for in a town that is 4-5 hours AWAY away from here & he starts NEXT week!!

So we kinda had a big "Congrats & going away Feast"....we all like to Cook so everyone was making SOMETHING ( thank God for having such a big kitchen! )..& we never did sit down -just ended up eating in waves...
Lets see ...
We had Lobster, Dungeoness Crab, King crab, prawns, shrimp, oysters, scallops...& wine we just bottled...OMG!!.. I wonder why we never got to the homemade Caesar salad!!

but I did make the cheese cake out of the EFL cook book!!!!
Bahahaha!! Oh yea - now THAT made it healthy Right??

Can I just title this - *yawn*?

This is gonna a be a fun day - I can tell already... I for some obscure reason I woke up at about 1:30 am & COULD NOT get back to sleep... I dunno maybe it was us going to bed earlier than usual & ummm well being VERY pleasantly exhausted when I did fall asleep at about 10:30-11:00 -- Tee hee ;P
Does this happen to anyone else that sometimes right after.. You fall asleep ...& then wake up a few hours later?? Or am I just weird?

Any who, after lying in bed staring at the ceiling I decide to get up & come down stairs...I started a loaf of bread , cleaned the whole big walk in pantry - mostly cause I got pissy about not being able to find ingredients for the damn bread & then proceeded to catch up on everyone's Blogs...Interesting to see the world of Blends Going UP & DOWN like a teeter totter...VERY nice to see there's more "GOOD" & UPS in people worlds happening right at this moment! :D
Yep this is what I'm doing at 3AM!! Oh yea & throw in snacking - now does that count as yesterday's last meal or today's first?? ~lol

So this morning I'm now staring at my handy bottle of Thermo- whatevers & trying to figure out just how many I'm gonna need to wake my sorry A$$ up enough to go Go GO to the gym!

Wish me luck..... :D

Weekends are dangerous..

Here it is Monday & I'm relieved.. Yea.... WHAT? You say...
Hmmmm well to explain -I'm more than just a little pissed at my self that I yet again let the whole weekend become a series of Free Day moments.
Someone please tell me WTH happens in my brain that says that eating well right up till dinner time means that everything after that is WHOO HOO PARTY time!?! I dunno!... I need to figure out the mental process that goes into this sorta thing if I ever really hope to see decent results- that is the absolute bottom line on this.

I know that this is a pattern I have when I have weekend days off.. Friday I can work-out, be totally ON with eating all day- but then if it's a day off.. Come the eve & we end up "socializing" which usually involves food & drink.. & If I'm off Sat too- well it's the same sorta equation! -Then the hard thing is then Sunday even when I go back to work- I can't seem to get out of the fog & be all gun ho about eating clean- I'd quite honestly hazard to guess that it's some sort of "food induced hangover!!!" cause often I don't really even drink that much if at all ( especially if I had drank the night before~lol) - just the damn rich food!

Now telling me to NOT be sociable isn't gonna work- I'm just not willing to give up everything all the time ..Jamie & I both enjoy cooking & entertaining too much & to be honest with my schedual- getting to relax & "kick back" with friends is an infrequent treat.

Sorry for blithering on about this ... I'm just trying so hard to stay focused & on track this "challenge" .. That feeling like I'm on that slippery slope to Apathy is actually scaring me... I really WANT to do well.. I WANT to really make some changes & look "different" - it's been too long since I've managed to really see anything remarkable ...

Gotta find a way to keep the "damage" to a minimum somehow! *sigh*

Missed YOU all..

Friday was a funny day in my world...our computer was offline for the WHOLE day ..& I realised how much I rely on being able to get on line, look up things or just catch up on the "goings on" in everyone's world - any time I want~ So I can't even imagine going away on an extended vaction-I'd MISS you all too much ~lol
Anywho had a great day...busy, busy since kids have a half day of Fridays & my workout time is shortened -No lollygaging for me! & then we had dentist appointments as well to fit into our timeline & shopping & baseball practice..& on & ON it goes _ oh yea somewhere in there I have to make dinner too!
So it was busy but not so busy that I didn't go find the scale at the gym...
I'm down to 137 :D Yay ME~ So it's nice to find that working at this has Happy resutls!~

Keep up the PMA gang~

Good day!....

Well gang, here we are into week 2 of the Bikini challenge & I'm feeling GOOOOD today! Even after a weekend of eating ...ummm, well ..ah ,bithday food LOL ( I think I had more Pizza over this weekend than I've had in months- simply 'cause it was quick, easy & well frankly portable!! ) I'm think &(HOPE) I'm gonna be down again on weight by the end of the week!

I'm attributing it to "trying" to do T's diet for most of last week & so far all of this one... ( I'm doing a few substitutions - but tracking things on FITDAY) TO be honest this is the first time since last Spring that I've REALLY honestly been eating this clean. Thru the fall & winter,even when I waws eating "good" I got into a habit of telling myself that a low fat chewy granola bar was a good carb choice.... or that whatever everyone else was eating was .."close enough". Not to metion that more often than not my Free day turned into a Free Weekend with WAY too much partaking! ;P ( damn you Stef for telling me just HOW many grams of sugar are in a Vodka Ice!! ~lol)

Anywho this week, I've had my momments where I've been HUNGRY as Jess said...not fun! & gotten pretty damn sick of seeing spinache & frikkin' brocoli at a few points...( shoulda heard me muttering under my breath around work LAST night! ) but doing this even just for the days I work .. I think is doing me good.. I have a feeling if I tried to do this 24/7 I'd turn into a bloody basket case ! I really don't know how Teresa or any one can do this day in & day out for days , weeks, even months on end!! ITS BORING!! bahaha!

Other than obsessing about FOOD I've had a pretty good week been really hitting things hard with my workouts --& really enjoying chatting with Karenna ,Christie,Deb, Lisa & Co in the mornings ( although I'm gonna have to put a time limit on that or do it AFTER I go to the gym - cause otherwise I'm running out of day somehow before I know it! Tee hee! )

I also spoke a couple times today to Suzanne, who I've been worrying about & she's doing ok - they're ruling all the Yucky things out & hopefully it will turn out to be something fairly straightforward to deal with .. but that's her story to tell when the time comes .. In the mean time I'm just glad our dear Blend is doin ok & am once again reminded just how thankful I myself am for all of you out there-- & all the support that we give & get from one another!


Happy Wedsday ALL

**BIG HUGS**

What did I do all Weekend you ask???

Well it was a whirlwind... being that my schedual always changes & I work 3 days on then 3 days off... weekends are a REAL premium! This weekend we had friends to see before they leave to work away for a YEAR .. a soccer windup party & FINALLY my darling Daughter's Birthday PARTIES...Yes 2...you have to have the family one too ya know!

Here's some pics from the girls party ... we made it a whole "Men IN Black" Theme party starting with invitations in manila envelopes with TOP SECRET on them & invitations that had to be read using a mirror ( ya shoulda seen me trying to write THAT ~lol) When the girls got to the house - Jamie & I, who were dressed head to toe in black with sunglasses on, welcomed them to "Headquarters" & handed them their OWN "uniform" a G.I.B. t- shirt Jess & I had made up with Hot pink lettering on the backs (Girls In Black instead of MEN)
We did pizza & watched the M.I.B. movie & them took them to the local Mall for their "Training Assignment" which was a series of tasks in the Mall..( finding & buying sunglasses at the dollar store .. finding Quotes in the GNC store ect... They also had to take polaroid pictures of anyone they thought MIGHT be a possible ALIEN... Tee hee Now that was Fun! -- & the stir it caused in the Mall was Hilarious! Yep- IT was a BLAST they all had such a great time.. it was well worth all the effort & insanity!

Well THAT was quite the day!

So I can honestly say .. it's been a busy day but a FANTATIC one!

Got up this am & started getting ready for the gym ..checked in on my Messengers..Yes I have 2 runnng right now which may yet cause my poor little dinosaur
of a computer to give up & Die!
- But hey for now it's worth it! I got to "talk" to Goddessa & Deb which was a great pep inducer!! WHHHOOO HOOO! GO Bikini Challenge Girls! :D
& so off to the gym I went for a WHACK of cardio ..Almost an hour including a HIIT in the middle just for fun! ( geees those make me wanna barf some times!!! - but it's a good barf feeling right? ~lol - because then I know that I'm doing it right & working real hard --right?? ;)

Then back home to find my Dad cutting down the last of the nasty blackbery brambles that are out the back of our yard ( YAY dad!!!) Managed to get some chicken in the oven while I chatted with him... all the while just wanting to climb into a HOT shower! *sigh* Oh well finally he left & after a now much too short shower it was pack up for work & off to the dentist!!!

Oh fun!!! :P NO really, actually it was kinda awesome..For starters- NO cavities Yay me! & second the CDA there is the wife of one of my kids teachers so we got to talking..( ok she talked - I mummbled ~lol~). good to catch up on all the the gossip! ( tee hee) & then the biggest treat was in our talking about my rushed day & how I came to show up with soaking we hair... She says "so I'm guessing with all the fitness stuff You're an instructor as well" ...

UMMMMM no!- just a nurse.. was my response.. to which she sorta shruged & said "Oh ... I just thought from talking to you before & all that you knew..& well You just LOOK like one"

Talk about making my day!!!

OH.. & did I mention that I'm back down to 138?? I weighed at the gym ... this Am - So I guess the "bloat" is leaving... another BIG YAY!
.. & now I'm at work eating chicken & "grass" as my co worker like to tease me when I'm eating LOTS of veggies...mostly raw!! lol

Yep HAPPPY girl today... :D

OK at the request of a few of you...

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN
STORAGE
FACILITY."

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - he is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
DESTINATIONS."

4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."

5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL
RELATIONSHIPS."

6. He does not get "FALLING DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY
HORIZONTAL."

7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of
"RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - he has "SWINE EMPATHY."

9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."

10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."

11. Its not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR
CLEAVAGE."

My favourite is #7.

Some thoughts for the New week..

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK"- She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."

2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER"- She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."

3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE
INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."

5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."

7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY
INCONVENIENCED."

8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."

9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."

11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY
SUPERIOR."

12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."


well there ya go hope you enjoy them as much as I did! :P

OK... Here ya go!

So Yes-FINALLY I got the pics from my Sister ( we took mostly with her camera & I've been waiting alllll week for her to send me some pics so I can show you!)& then I've spent 2 frikkin days trying to upload them- with NO luck!- they are in the wrong format( anyone know how to convert a "bitmap to a Jpeg?? ) Yea me neither! needless to say& I'm too dumb to know any better! yes I know it's a been a long wait but I had to wait for her first! I dunno she gave me some lame excuse about looking after a new baby & not having time to get on the computer! ~lol So with out any further ado presenting-- MY Nephew! these are a few that we took-- I still have to get the others.......

Leland was born on Jan 2nd making him just over 10 weeks now -wow where did the time go? hmmmmm - something about a Challenge comes to mind... ~lol~

Anways the trip was Great we really had a wonderful time... & I miss My sister like crazy already...*sigh* It is MUCH colder in Alberta than here in BC that's for sure! & It snowed LOTS while we were there- FUN for the kids but made me nervous that we'd have a hard time with the flights on the way home.. but we did fine :)
We even fit in a day to West Edmonton Mall..a really COOOL mall with everything from a huge Waterslide park to a Seal show & bumper boats to a movie theater with an amazing Huge animatronic dragon to an Amusement park INSIDE it! we spent the day there as it was the kids Chrsitmas pressie from Cindy & Billy to have a family pass there for the day! ( yea we WERE supposed to be out there for Christmas time 'memeber?? ) Oh well it was Very, Very neat if you ever get the chance to go there~!

Aaaaand again we're off !

Geees, it seems we don't do anything for months & months -- then all of a sudden we're not home for two seconds & we're gonna be gone again!

I guess part of it is that it's Spring Break up here & were feeling like everything has to be crammed into a very short time!
Soooooo I've spent the week doing laundry ,running around doing errands, cleaning the motorhome to give it back to my father-in law & doing stuff with the kids---PHEW--- ( we're just not going into how many workouts I missed- ok?! )

& Now we're going to bed to get up for a 6AM flight out to FINALLY see my sister & the new baby!!!! YAY!!!!!
So again... Have wonderful weekend...- we're not back till late Monday night..
I'll have LOTS more pics - but definitely NOT hot tubs ones!!! they'll be all of BABY!!
( sorry bout all the exclamation points every where...I'm a little wound up apparently! ~LOL~)

Weekends with friends, Blends & more!

Where do I start with all of this??
Well it's Monday morning & Jamie & I got back late last night from the most AMAZING weekend !

If meeting all you Blends can be this much fun -I vote we all get on this NOW!
I feel like I'm some sorta new convert...trying to explain how Wonderful a new way of life is & convince you all to TRY it! ~lol

I'll just give you the short version of this ...'cause I know as soon as Stef gets to her Dad's tonight, she'll be wanting to share..& I don't wanna hog all the fun!
I can't say it enough that she & Russ are just as wonderful & special as you might imagine- we had such a great time,that I really was sad we had to leave to come home last night!

I knew things were in for a good time when we got to the meeting place Sat AM & any worries I might have had about not being able to recognize Stef were immediately washed away, & we pretty much ran across the concourse area to greet each other with a big hug!

After a brief introduction between Jamie & Russ the 4 of us were up the Moutain for the first of many hours of skiing adventures & A LOT of talking...It's amazing to feel like you're with a long lost friend who you've been separated from for some silly reason!
Straight off the top, I have to say both She & Russ are great skiers & I being NOT such a fantastic skier was thankful for them waiting for me constantly & watching me learn new things.. ( thanks again you guys! )---But I Still HATE MOGULS!! ;P Bahahahaha!!!

& it was great that Jamie & Russ seemed to click immediately & got on like gang busters & up on the mountain are like two big kids who wanna play ALLLLL day until someone MAKES them come in! ~lol
& the APRES ( after) Ski time.... Well now THAT was a Blast! Hot tubs, good times good company & more teaching..This time Stef & Russ will tell you it was me teaching Stef a bad new word...SQUISHEES.. tee hee!!!

We definitely had a VERY GOOD evening :D- even hooked up for dinner with another couple we met in the Hot tub- who we had to explain to several time that we all hadn't been friends for YEARS ~lol

Sunday was yet another picture perfect day on the slopes!-- Oh yea whooo hoo very Lucky us!
It really is so beautiful & breath taking up there- ( Stef has TONES of pics so I'll let her show you them all) ... In the mean time I'll post this one of the four of us!

Needless to say-I'll have many many fond memories of this past weekend & look forward to the next time!... any one wanna join us for NEXT year?? :)

Very Quickly...

Well I've been a good Mommy again ~lol ..in between apcking I've watched the play AGAIN last night & my son Steven"s presetation in his class today ( very cute )& everyone keeps telling me he'd make great actor..NO my 7 yr is NOT shy! mind niether of them are! *sigh* I'm gonna miss them-------
but I'm VERY excited as we're just out the door to head up for a 3hr (?) drive to see STEF & RUSS! :D
Did I mention that it flippin SNOWED here yesterday & last night??? akkkk ...wish us all luck in getting there!!

Have a great weekend ALL!!

Do I win Mom of the year??

Just got back from the school & have tucked kids into bed.. have been a good girl & entered all my food in Fitday... NOW I finally to tell you about the thrilling adventures I've gotten my self into..

My daughter Jessica, is singing in the choir in the production of "Joseph & the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat" ( who made that damn title anyways?- it's a bitch to type when you're tired! ~lol) & they,for whatever reason they have decided to do -not one , not two, but FOUR performances this week! So I being the good Mommy I am -went yesterday afternoon( then had to run off to put in an eight hour shift.) Bought tickets for her Dad & his girlfriend to go last night ( YES I bought them... why - I don't know- except I have very nice manners some times --Bllaaa )- oh well he'll pay me back but anywho.. So I got to do all my shopping today do running around for activities & then Go again tonight (Yippee!) & then I get to go AGAIN on Thursday for the closing night ( couldn't miss the closing now could I??...& I get to take My PARENTS- who are the most particular folks you'll ever meet..they'll probably want to go 2 hours early to get the BEST seats! akkkk!
Now bear in mind this is NOT a fancy production .. we ain't on Broadway now kids.. heck this isn't even a High School Production...this is Elementary School people!!...The Star is 12 yrs old at best!!. they are singing along with the soundtrack !!- all be it with the voices very low in the back ground.. but I have to go ...I have to watch her in the choir ..singing her heart out, Looking so intense ( or maybe that's just abject terror 'cause I'm waving at her from the front row! ~lol
I dunno...I just know that I love my daughter very much- & as Lori might appreciate.."I just don't wanna miss a thing!"

On with the show!

Well it's Friday ..it's Sunny & I've decided to hang up my cape ( thanks Dub..how you KNEW I was saving the world..I don't know...)

So I've done all I can about..well- everything else for the momment..& I've decided to get back to the project at hand...ummm ME! ;)
So in the past 2 days I've been on track with eating& workouts (Things weren't totally horrid early this week ..just NOT really "on" & franky I missed some w/o's ( being exhausted beyond repair does that! )soooooo...Yesterday I came home from the gym & re read BFFM - good book - great for incentive! & have decided to enter all my food in Fitday to track thing for the month of March - which I intend to do!( that whole self promise thing... ;)
In general I feel a lot more focused & able to cope... Yay me!. I just hope it lasts!! I know-- I seem to get all hyped & GO GO mode about things ..& then the world seems to derail me--Hmmmm.. does anyone have any sure fire ways to STAY on track?...

I think what I really need is a flippin training partner!...someone to have to stay accountable to...someone to encourage me to push myself to go that extra distance. Somehow when it's just me .. I can talk myself outta pretty much anything!
:P
I guess the truth of it is I'm just really missing having someone else to workout with right now.. My girlfriend who I used to run with & workout sometimes with is working a "normal" dayshift type job right now which is wonderful for her... but needless to say we're lucky to hook up for a run on a weekend morning every several weeks at best!
well 'nuff of that.. for now I'll keep on keepin on... try to stay as focused as I can & really Kick butt for these next few weeks!

In other news but somewhat related...I can't decide if I'm more excited or nervous about meeting Stef & Russ to go skiing next weekend.
I'm thrilled to be meeting one of you Blends ( finally!!)~lol Ya see, despite many phone calls Suzanne & I STILL haven't manged to arrange our scheduals to hook up!-something about kids, work & her leaving the country every week or so -keeps getting in the way! ;)
So back to Stef & Russ ... I'm very excited - I think it's going to be lots of fun!...but nervous since she & Russ are the original "Power Couple" of BFL ...& I kinda feel like a bit of a shlep ...You know--that whole "Wayne's World thing..."we're not worthy !...we're not worthy!!" ;P

Oh well-whatdaya do?? Me-I'll go with the excitement & see if working my A@#$ off all week makes me feel any better about myself!

Happy Friday all!

why...

when I feel stretched this thin ... the mirror doesn't seem to see it?...

**sigh**

Something for a Sunday morning..

Nevermind who it's by ... just listen to the Lyrics... pretty powerful message from a "teeny bopper" I 've had this stuck in my head this weekend after singing this with the kids on the karaokee... nice thoughts... It's a new day..a new week.. Let's GO!

"forget about the reasons why you can't in life..." I like that! ;)


Fly

Add a video to your site Webratsmusic.com

t!

hmmm no good!

I put a silly video for you guys... I thought it might be fun! but I came back to look at it & it's mucked up my whole blog...how come??? I took it off for now until someone can tell me how to put in on without buggering the whole page!

Haruuuuuuumph~~ LOL that's me pouting~

Does any one know...

How to get the "most recent updated time" to show up when you scroll down the list of people that you have links to???

Or better yet does anyone even know WHAT I'm on about!!!
I'm quite sure I saw this on someone's blog & it looked reallllly cool! ( Of course now do you think I remember WHO - no that would be useful!! ) aaaak! It would save me clicking back & forth & back & forth trying to remember who I've checked in on & who I've missed ...Especially when I'm at work here & I get called away from the 'puter to go do stuff with patients ( yea I know how RUDE Eh?? ~loL~

any who if anyone can help out it would be VERY appreciated!!!

Thanks gang!

& WELCOME ROD to our little blogging community!! ;)

he's on MY list over here.................................> :)

Something a little more cheery!

--this is partly to change the subject so to speak.. & partly since I saw Janel's pics of her & her Hubby.
& mostly because I've realized I've never shown you any pics of My Jamie -someone you get to hear about on a rather regular basis! ~lol
So here's a pic of us... My Jamie & me :)

Lots on my mind..

Today I did NOT do my work out .. geee what a way to start my blog eh??
Well what I did do is spend my morning baking bread, making a couple of big lasagnes & generally thinking about life. When I have things on my mind cooking is thereaputic for me.. sometimes I wish I could just be happy as some Jolly round mother earth type & be done with it! settle into that as a way of life!

Anyways..what I've been thinking about is one of my fellow nurses, who I lovingly call "mother May" as she is older that MY mom. She is a sweet english lady who has had more than her share of life tribulations.. she left her family & job as a young nurse & midwife in England at her husbands request came to Canada bore & raised 2 kids.. reaentered the nursing field.. where her Husband found the first of several "other women" ( oh lovely eh?) well needless to say they split & she continued to raise kids. Her daugther went thru the usual teen rembelion yrs ,& son followed right after .. but took a bit of a bad turm & ended up hooked on heroin._ scary stuff to say the least.. In the past several yrs that I've know her I've watched & gone thru this headache & heartache with her while she talked & smoked ..I listened.

Two yrs ago a she had a fall & broke her leg ..I did what I could & took home made things to work for her son to pick up when he picked up paper work.. he by this time was doing better.. on the methadone but having a hard go at times .. he decides I'm a good listner..& talks to me when he comes.. Last yr she had bad fall & ended up in the hospital again where she damn close to died because they gave her too much Ativan( because son told them she was a bit of a "drinker' - worried about possible DT's - well she had a reaction.but the Powers that Be sent her back ..she Decided then & there that she'd been given a sign..no more smoking or drinking for Mother!
So again I ended up baking & talking to her son... Now apparently he's doing really well recently off every thing ..going to NA & even working ..still staying with Mother .. who's the one person who has pulled him out & will forgive him every thing whatever cost to herself. Life is going on..but her health has taken a turn- she went in to hospital this past week because she's been having trouble breathing well they did some test & then ended up having to aspirate almost 2 liters of fluid off her lungs..not good!. The worse part is that in the fluid there was blood.. indicating Cancer. Oh joy.. needless to say I was Paul ( her son's) first choice of who to call .. we talked & the next night he called me back again at work ... yep confirmed by further tests...Cancer.. & it's not only in both lungs .. but in the pancrease & lymph ...NOT good at all....
They've sent her home.. the fluid is eased for the momment.. she has her handy dandy pain killers & a set of appointments to see oncologists & start chemo... but they have essentialy told her to get things in order we're looking at a possible 6 month timeline.
So for now I cook.. I bake, ...because realistically ...what else can I do?

Waddaya think ?

Well Suzanne this is for you! I think it makes me sound scarier than I am when I'm Upset.... I'm NOT tempramental.

Your Hidden Talent

You are a great communicator. You have a real way with words. You're never at a loss to explain what you mean or how you feel. People find it easy to empathize with you, no matter what your situation. When you're up, you make everyone happy. But when you're down, everyone suffers.

What's Your Hidden Talent?

..I'm NOT! No really...but Don't ask Jamie ok? ;)

Better day all around!...

Well today has been an improvement over yesterday... I decided to get off my sorry butt & quit being a colosal wimp! Getting pissed at myself isn't goin to change anything--Life only moves forward!
Hmmmmm there's something in that.. Now if I could remember that all the time it would be Great!

Anywho hit the Gym first thing this Am had a fantastic warm up cardio that turned into a HIIT by the middle of things..then headed down the stairs ( yes- the changeroom & Cardio is Upstairs --sometimes I think for entertainment value ! ~Lol) Got to the leg room & blasted through a great LBWO!!! WHOOOOO HOOOO

then home, had a chat with Suzanne..:) always nice to yack about..well pretty much everything!-- from her wonderful weekend..(Congrats again you two!!!) to all the recent Tracker junk..I'm not going there..I'm talking about GOOD things now...LOL!


& then yacked on the puter for a bit to my sis :) & Crissy -who I talk with almost daily ! wrote a couple emails ..tried to post some blog responses & decided the Gods were saying "get in the shower you twit!!"

Then I got to pack up for WORK --yep work --Lucky me it's Valentines & I'm at work!

Welllllll I got a very nice special suprise...

Jamie came in with Japanese food ( ummmm yes I know that was NOT authorised! LOL extra cardio for me tomorrow! )
& he brough me an amazing arrangement of my favourite flowers fresias & lillies!! The whole nursing office smell absolutely HEAVENLY even as I type!

& you have to understand that he's never been a big fan of Valentines... one too many demading girlfriends in his past that EXPEXTED everything.. :( so I've always kept it pretty low key.. we don't need ONE day to tell us that we love each other...we frankly do that EVERY day ! But a surprise ...well that is always wonderful - & to get to see him when I have to work..that is a treat! :)


Yes I think I am a very lucky girl... & very thankful for all the good things & good people in my world!


Soooo to all of you my lovely Blends....MMMMMMMMMMUUUUUUUUAAAAAH! :)

Let's play a game..

It's called the "FUN & not so FUN of losing the same 5-10 pounds over & over"!!!

Oh yippeeeeee doesn't THAT sound like a THRILLING game???
C'mon..I know you wanna join in on it & write down all the neeto peachy keeno pro's & con's list!!!

Alrighty..PRO's

well week six is not weird or strange...in fact you've seen that # several times.. having gotten to about week 7-8 on a few of my unfininshed challenges ..hey week 6 is REALLY familar!

the changes that you see & feel - you know- the subtle loss of Ta-ta's is now comforting & not frightening

the numbers on the scale..you know they are going to come to a screeching halt & drive you insane for at least a week or so

the stats..hey couldn't you just cut & paste them from one challenge to the next?? saving time & valuable energy?!

new Clothing shopping??-- oh no..not an issue hell there's clothes that should be just sectioned off into FAT( aka elastic-ville) Middleground..(ok fine you get buttons now - but don't get too damn cocky girl ) & YA FRIKIN RIGHT! ( the things you buy thinking that you'll get down to- & never actually do!..



OK nuff of that now the CONS...

well for starters the general frustration & disgust with yourself that you repeat this damn cyle OVER & OVER...

the temptation to just say forget this ... why bother...

the self analysing that seems to get nowhere except to the conclusion that you don't have the self disipline to push yourself to the limits

the wondering why you seem to get let life get in the way of what you see as your ultimate goals...

the gnawing self doubt as to whether those goals could EVER be attainable...

ok I'm stopping-- this is just running off from being droll & witty into the depressing ...sorry!




OK well needless to say I'm frustrated & a Little sarcastic right now.---ok maybe just a bit more than a little.( see Tracey..I toldja in my secret heart I'd fit in with those on your other site!)

Any who---gotta go get kids to catcha all later

Moving on....

Your Five Variable Love Profile

Propensity for Monogamy: Your propensity for monogamy is medium. In general, you prefer to have only one love interest. But it's hard for you to stay devoted for too long! There's too much eye candy to keep you from wandering. Experience Level: Your experience level is high. You've loved, lost, and loved again. You have had a wide range of love experiences. And when the real thing comes along, you know it! Dominance: Your dominance is low. This doesn't mean you're a doormat, just balanced. You know a relationship is not about getting your way. And you love to give your sweetie a lot of freedom. Cynicism: Your cynicism is low. You are an eternal optimist when it comes to love and romance. No matter how many times you've been hurt - you're never bitter. You believe in one true love, your perfect soulmate. And if you haven't found true love yet, you know you will soon. Independence: Your independence is low. This doesn't mean you're dependent in relationships.. It does mean that you don't have any problem sharing your life. In your opinion, the best part of being in love is being together.

The Five Variable Love Test

OK I don't agree with the first one... I"m decided settled & pathetically monogamous!!! ...I guess being happy witll do that to ya eh?

Not to say I don't LIKE eye candy ... but I'm sure not gonna do anything about it anymore! ~lol

Geeeeee now THAT was fun!.....NOT

For those of you that missed the fun there was a bunch af well to put it mildly ...f#$% 'in Garbage goin on at Tracker today .
. I missed the begining since I was at work..& amazingly ...working! Until my dinner break I was blissfully unaware that a bunch of Magpies ..with new names no less.. had decided that thing were too damn nice & pleasant around there I guess...

I'm tired now from spending most of my free moments this eve on the damn computer burying the mess... Really there is no other good way to deal with this sort of thing... trying to retaliate just stirs it up even more & frankly gives them "airtime" they don't deserve!..Besides..I just couldn't leave things knowing that some poor "new kids" could walk in & step in that!

So I wanna say a BIG thanks to Jess ,Tracey, Janel & Christie (& Rod..even tho I don't think he blogs! ~lol) & anyone else who helped clean up ...if I forgot you ..My sincier appologies... it's flippin late ...& I really should be in bed!!!

The only good thing...is not leaving the nursing office except to check on pts... I didn't eat any CRAP!!! & there was a BIG chocolate pie in the fridge! LMAO...

ok..I'm really over tired.. ;)

Lost in Translation...

Well I had an awesome workout this AM..& I do mean I was rockin & feeling majorly pumped!! I was feelin like Zena Warrior Princess!!! whooo hooo!!

OK maybe a bit too much cafeine in my veins..& maybe it was just the army green t-shirt & Sunshine that had me hyped!!
Whatever it was I had this great grand idea to come home & take some pics of my arms...which I'm liking today..I'm having a day where I feel I can embrace my muscularity ..instead of wishing that I were more slim & petite. So I figured better enjoy it while it lasts!
All I've managed to do in the hour I've been home is take some really BAD pictures!!! Damn I suck at this !! LMAO!!
Oh Man...taking pics while trying to pose.. is just retarded!!! there has GOT to be better way to try to show you what I see... I think I can see some real definition happening in my biceps...& I wanna show you what I'm happy about..:) How can it be this difficult??

Oh welll...here ya go... one slightly cockeyed, & rather messy looking girl ( told ya I don't go for the glamor look now didn't I ?) But I'm happy ..& swiftly on my way to tired now from a good workout! Hope you're all havin a good one too!

Better than flowers...

I got a very neat surprise today..& one I wouldn't have expected in a million yrs!

I've had a kinda rough week.. ( hence the blog filler tests.. ;) when I'm in a down mood I don't feel I should be laying it on you all... & really it's all pretty mundane stuff- nothing I can change or ask for advise about ..just get thru.

Any who I was thinking earlier that I was having a pretty good day & I should write SOMETHING.. but really what the heck is in my life of any excitement?? I mean I'm not talented enough to write thought provoking stuff like K.. & I'm not in the thro's of new Love like Jess & Bev.. I'm not going anywhere interesting having great amazing #s in my workouts like most of you , my kids are doing fine.. & Frankly I could never top Tracey for pure shock value ! I could go on & on listing all the interesting things going on in everyones world... some difficult & heart wrenching..christie I hope u find your answers..& Kim I hope she finds her peace.Some are exciting like Kana & casey & the others that are Melting away.. it's really contagieous excitement ...or The ongoing saga of Dub, Suzanne & the cross continental love story they 've let us be part of!

On & on the list goes...really , I said it before ..I keep closer tabs on you all than some members of my family! & when I wanna share stuff with you ..I don't wanna bore you to tears...

I was racking my brain trying to come up with something happy & uplifting to share since I was in a good mood...but nothing was quite "it" ...

So I decided once I got to work I'd pop into Tracker...see how the world was around there.. I now I don;t spend half the time there that I used to... between Life & checking blogs I just don't have as much time!
For whatever reason ..I decided to wander into the top 20 list.. don't usually go looking there, mostly just cruise the forums & check out the newest profiles & changes....
Well to my shock..( & I do mean shock ..I yelled WHAT??? right here in the nursing office...oops! ;)

MY NAME IS ON THE LIST!!!!

I have NO idea how it got there... I really don't get it... I can see the others that are doing really well...or those that have had obvious great Challenges...& now that I think of it ...most of you ,are or have been on there..which is very cool I realy am excited to see my "blends" getting the recognition they deserve!!

But never did I expect to see myself there!!!
Even last yr at my best I was "ok" but nothing "WOW" I gotta vote on that...
& NOW...akkkkk all I have to look at this year is post X-mas "I know where all the Goodies went" blobby Girl!!

So I just wanted to share this bit of very NEAT news!! & I've spent the rest of my free time tonight "paying if forward" in the beginners section..& sending PM's .... something I've gotten away from in between being busy & feeling kinda down..

I still have NO idea who or how...but I'm really thrilled mostly that it reminded me to keep on pushing & striving to be better..& to really put into practice Bill's idea of reciprocity!! Giving back...one of the things that makes me truly HAPPY!!
Hmmm maybe that's fate having a hand in things... who knows eh?


Have a great week end all!

Something cute & mindless..No more colour tests!

Your Love Life Secrets Are

Looking back on your life, you will have a few true loves. You've been deeply wounded in the past, and you're still recovering from that hurt. You expect a lot from your lover - you want the full package. You tend to be very picky. In fights, you love to debate and defend yourself. You logic prevails - or at least you'd like to think so. Break-ups can be painful for you, but you never show it. You hold your head high.

Your Love Life Secrets, Revealed

Ok..now this just sorta scared me...

I know I'm heading into a really bad pre-PMS phase..& at least Jamie & I can talk about all my irrational insecurities..but that doesn't make them any less hard to live through.

I'm startled this test just brought all my worst fears & doubts out into the light for me to have to look at.. or maybe I'm just seeing it that way!.. ;)

pamela took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! "Wants to make a favorable impression and be recogn..." Click here to read the rest of the results.

hmmm the print on this is too light .. I first thought the link didn't print..but it's there just almost invisible.... Geee what does THAT say! ~lol

NOT ready yet...

Ok I know it's the end of week 4...& there has been ups & downs & many things going on in EVERYONES world.We 've made it thru the first Third of the Challenge folks!! YAY us!!! WHOOOOOOO HOOOO!!


But ,ummmm welll ahhhhh I...ummm I Don't wanna take pics yet...I really don't!! Yes I know Janel you & Teresa seem all psyched..& I"m happy for you ..I am. but not me...

I was talking to Jim this morning..( hope you don't mind my blithering about it Jim..;) but I said to him as well that I don't wanna... I'm not just being stuborn.. I really am scared that by NOT seeing results..I'M gonna get discouraged.. & to be honest .. it this stretch of the road there isn't gonna be much to see... I've done this first part more times than I can to think about .. so I KNOW that it takes time, that really there is NOTHING to see on the outside for me. Yes my brain is fully aware that all the lovely wonderful things are goin on underneath...but it WON"T show!!


Am I just being a wimp ..or am I just not wanting to set myself up for a bad start to next week...

I dunno...

Love & hate relationship with the mirror..

What is it about mirrors?? Yesterday I was noticing as I was getting dressed that as I was putting on one of my tops that there was decidely "less" of me breast wise... which in my case is not entirely a bad thing. For me it's a sure indicator that I'm heading in the right direction..."Yay my boobs are disapearing!!!" WTF?? Ya..well we're a weird bunch & strange things make us happy eh? ;)

& even this moring at the Gym while doing pec deck I was admiring the muscles that seem to be appearing in the chest & shoulder area... one of the few parts of my body I actually like... So I'm all happy thinking YAY me I'm working hard seeing results & tra lalala .... Well THAT was short lived!
I was doing biceps with the machine pulleys & was checking my form in the mirror & it kinda went like this....

"ok arms are looking good tucked in , shoulders in line, back straight"... - hell I was almost tempted to ditch my hoodie & pretend I was Trac in my sports bra tank...just to see the muscles in my arms!

& then it all came to a crashing HALT... I got down to the side view of my BUTT & legs.....EEEEEEEEEEEEEWWW! that is NOT a pretty thing to look at !! MAN,what is with all the JUNK in my TRUNK??! I wanted to run out of there, break the mirror , crop the picture ...SOMETHING!!!

What is it about lower bodies that seem to be the bane of our existence?? I dunno.. half of me wants to cry cause the reality is soo yucky & where I want to be seems about a thousand miles away...& the other half says Damn Girl you can beat this... hard work , more cardio & less crap in your face WILL fix this... but not today..

hmmmmmm sitting on my Butt here isn't much help is it either??? LOL .. better go do something...

Nother makeshift day..

Well to start my week I have the kids at home for a Pro-d day & I work later to boot so going to the gym just isn't gonna happen! Grrrrr... I'm gonna try to go upstairs now to do some sort of work out .. hopefully without too much interuptions..

( this Moring I've just spent the last hour & a half at or near the computer working on a school project with my daughter.. )
You gotta love how when they have something THEY wanna do it is all they can think about !!! So now that that is out of the way & I don't have to listen to repeated calls of "MOM... can you look at this .. or MOM ..how does this go or MOM -- Steven is bugging me or MOM....." Be very thankful those of you that just have to deal with the possibility of Idiots at the Gym today! ~lol

Ok- off I go to try to make myself look like the Girl (?) on Tracy's Blog!!
AAAakkk NOOOOO .. but at least it's incentive to go do SOMETHING!

NOT how my day was supposed to go..

Well today is supposed to be LBWO.. I do say supposed 'cause I don't know if THAT is gonna happen.. ( mind you, I didn't say WAS so I haven't totally given up on figuring a way to get my W/O in...

What's up you say?.. Well I had a VERY over warm boy crawl into my bed this morning..Yea ,whether it's the Mommy or the Nurse I knew right away we're dealing with a fever! OH JOY... & complaining of a sore throat to boot . Now does it make me a Bad Mommy that my first thought was not "OH you poor soul" ...But DAMN this is gonna mess up my day! ....akkkk there goes my Mother or the Year Award!!

So I've managed to get darling daughter off to school .. Thank the gods Jamie was doing home office work this Am ..& now I've got on here for a sec... but only a sec.. he keeps crawling up in my lap ..Yes he's 7 but he still does that when he's not feeling well.. or really any time he just wants warmth & loves ! - he's always been that way !

So we're gonna cuddle up on the couch & read or maybe see what kids educational shows are on any more...I'm out of the loop to say the least! ~lol~

& I've made us a Mommy & Me protien shake (yes-- I give them to my kids.. they've always liked them!) --Ok so his has a bit of Hot chocolate mix in it!!
Do ya blame him for LOVING it !
So I'll have to check in with everyone's Blogs later...

Hope you're all well...
I'll be thinking of ya...from under the blankies... ;)

Do I have a sign on me?....

That says Come up & chat me up ??? Geees what is it this past week?! 3 different guys at they gym have come up asking the usual obscure "hey So how long have you been working out ?" questions...

Now I've gotta say up front-- DO NOT go the gym dressed to impress... SO WTF??
I pull my hair back in a pony ... pretty much no make up.. ( ok where's DG.. I don't ever go out without mascara -never have, LOL...) but other than that NOTHING!! I dont' wear cute little outfits ... mostly my fave pilates type pants ( cause they stretch -specially now when it's TOM! Arrg! ) & a t-shirt with a zip hoodie if its cold. Now bear in mind noneof this is pink or any other color designed to attract attention.. infact it's all black or grey .. I know boring but hey ..

So what the heck is it that is making these guys come talk to me ?? Is it the wornout work out gloves... the glaring at myself in the mirror trying to get the last few reps out ??? I have no idea!!

I'm not hating it ... just feeling a little weird about it .. one guys even started helping me take off plates to keep talking to me ! & when I metioned kids ( rather pointedly by this time! ) he said -really you have kids?? Wow you're in really good shape then! Not sure how to take that at all! I'm thinking see some of my friends.. ( this especially means some of YOU guys !! you know who you are!!! )

Any who this whole thing is bizarre when I'm feeling like I'm a big YUCK ( did I metion the cold sore that's still not healed .. ick! ) I'm no where NEAR where I want be shapewise ..& it's TOM to boot!

Things that make you go HMMMMMMM-ya this is it Baby!!

after a fun week end ..

Your Love Element Is Fire

In love, you are a true listener and totally present. For you, love is all about feeling more alive than you've ever felt. You attract others with your joy and passion. Your flirting style is defined by your strong ability to communicate. Fun and play are the cornerstones of your love life. And while your flame may burn too brightly, it's part of your appeal. You connect best with: Wood Avoid: Water You and another Fire element: will likely burn out quickly

What Element Is Your Love?

I'm so excited! ...

& I just can't hide it! ..I'm about to lose control & I think I like it ! YEaaaa.. !!

Ok.. this thing still needs to have music note icons so you know that I'm singin! :) I've gotta tell you I'm totally sleep deprived ( no -I never did get more than 5 hrs a night all week) so I'm a bit whacked .. but mostly it's because MY JAMIE is comming home !!! we leave in a bit to pick him up from the airport :) this is the longest we've ever been apart & I really can't believe I survived it!
Yes I know I'm a pathetic love sick fool ..... but as Travolta once said..Ain't it cool?! ~lol

BFL wise I've had great week .. had some kick ass workouts & great HIITS ... with a bit of extra cardio for good measure! My eating has been on track ...geeee would you believe I ate a lot of chicken for some reason???? ;)

Hmmmm I gotta say I'm a bit punch drunk I think, from lack of sleep but I'm feeling GOOOD!

So to quote ,I beleive it was..our Bev.."I'm all shaved up " & ready for a wonderful REUNION night !!!

Catch ya all after....;)

When I grown up...

this is what I wanna look like! Elaine Goodlad.. I mean she's 40 & is this drop dead Gorgeous!
I admire especially that she's not these little stick girls that you sometimes see ...I could never aspire to that. The genetics would never fit. the gods just desided to put me together with too much muscle. ( My dad never minded growing up either that I could chop wood better than most boys! ~lol)

& besides I can dream right.. I mean hey, when I leave mine wet .. our hair almost matches! ;)

Yep -I'm feeling better today thinking about dreams instead of wallowing in night mares :)

The one thing I CAN control...

FOOD... yes , food I can deal with-- OK soo this is bordering on insanity cooking 19 chicken breasts at a time! ~lol~ .....but every thing else in my world right now I can't do a damn thing about!
My sister & my nephew are still in the hospital in Alberta. She managed to get an infection in the REALLY bad tear she ended up with.. ( she & I joke about things being from "A$$hole to breakfast..." well this was.. & it's very not fun .

He(Leland ) is still in the Infant care nursery because he ended up in withdrawl from some of the meds that she is on for her Bi-polar ( yep throw all that in my worry pile too...)
My parents are apart for the first time in 37 yrs since my Mom went out to be with Cin since needless to say between work & kids I Can't!
So Dad is all weird & Mom is having to stay at Cin's on her own . FUN!

What else... hmmm lets see Jamie is gone for the week to a trainining session for work in..Minisota....... I am such a wimp I don't sleep when he's gone & I miss him so much it's stupid!-we're used to talking to each other a dozen times a day & he often comes home from work early just to see me . ( Yes we are pathetic-, I know-- )

& the kids will be gone to thier Dad's tonight because I'm working so I will be comming home to a totally empty house.... I'm NOT real good with that...

OH.. yes & did I mention I'm probably PMSing to boot!? & it's not the bitchy kind -- oh NOOO it's the way over emotional "the sky is falling" type.

I know that others have things going on in their life that are more serious... but right now all of this is just a little overwhelming..

Glad I finally got that out instead of hiding & saying nothing... thanks

After too too much wine...

I seem to have thought I was Bev!!!

Oh man! soooo glad New years is done for another whole year!

JAN 2 A BIG DAY IN MY WORLD



JAN 2 ...Its finallllly here!!! I know we've all been waiting for it for a while-- getting back on Track, & Tracker ~lol~ doing the Meltdown, or Torch Challenge or whatever may be your direction of choice, but I have to rave about some thing TOTALLY UnBFL for a sec!

I'M AN AUNTIE... a slightly sleep deprived one ~lol because the call came at about 3 something this am ...I was sooooo excited I couldn't get back to sleep...ended up going to TRACKER instead who knew?! LMAO! ;)

Then I climbed back in bed & just layed there...I started thinking about going out to see my sister( I miss her like CRAZY )...wondering what Leland my new nephew looks like Nephew..what a neat thing... I honestly thought she would NOT ever have kids..Medical issues just said NO in her world... So this is sooooo cool!!!!

I've been wating to post this so I could maybe get some pics up for you.. but my BIL finally sent pics & they are HUGE & I am lost when it comes to sizing things on here!!! LAME Lame lame.. I know
if anyone can walk me through it I'm willing to try!

Well other than being abit of a zot ...My day was pretty busy.
I did a great UBWO Great start to the day...THEN...took my pics ... Even wore the fancy suit I bought near the end of Challenge 1...the suit is great-it's a gorgeous colour..but even then it was tight.. I figured that I was gonna get SMALLER...Oh man!! I wanted to BAWL!!
So very Glad I did that after the workout...Geeeees girl what a MESS!
The holidays did a number on me..ok & ME ..I did this.. I gotta take some resposibilities don't I?!
So now it's back at things FULL tilt!!
FAT AUNTIE reporting for duty!!
WHAAAAAAA! ....... I don't wanna have to change my name to that!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL!!

well I'm sitting here working on less than 5 hours sleep... yep we stayed up WAAAAAY to late..

Geees I didn't even know that we could still do that ~I thought we were just too damn old! lol

We went from having NO concrete plans ( due to the" waiting for Baby game" & not knowing if we were even going to be around) to having several friends come over ..in waves.. So neeless to say we started the eating & drinking at about 2 in the afternoon..& then last we looked at the clock it was 5AM!!! AKKKK ! that's just retarded! But it was A LOT OF FUN!

So I'm sure that at some point today I'm gonna feel like death warmed over... right now I'm ok... not sure why... It could be that at some point during the later hours I switched over to drinking Green tea... ahhhhhh.. who am I trying to fool... I think my head is still fuzzy! LOL!

well on that --I'm gonna go back to bed & grab a few more zzzzzzzz's while we can, before kids are back later...

OH Boy -its gonna be sooooooooo good to get back on track tomorow! I don't think my body can endure too much more of this damn Season! ;)


2006 Challenge ...here I come!

CHRISTMAS REVIEW..

I tried to write this earlier today but then accidently deleted the whole bloody thing while trying to get rid of duplicate pics that somehow got put on... ( I dunno!- I still am such a Rookie at this Blogging! ) arrrg! so now hours later ..I'm home from work & ought to redo it..

Chrisitmas.. welll..it's done yay! ... Still no Baby ( geees why did I take time off work? )

But Christmas turned out to be a real whirlwind few days! LOTS of visiting & having friends over..
Christmas Eve ended up being crazy busy .. Out to Abbotsford in the Am.. then back home to finish off baskets with the kids for all my aunts & uncles ,then over to our friends up the block for a campfire christmas caroling ( it was lots of fun the the kids really enjoyed it! Then back here for yet more friends comming over ( amazing what happens when Jamie & I both make plans without the other knowing first- Akk! ) oh well it was nice :)
Kids didn't get to bed till after 10.. & I was up till ..well late! Gonna have to blame that on Suzanne! We ended up on the phone yaking about kids not going to bed-- & everything else...my sides are still sore from laughing! ;)

Got up the next Am & thankfully the kids slept in till after 8.. nice for Mommy!
My parents came over with my Gramma & then you'll never guess what happened... give up?? well, the power went out!
The joy of wind & trees eh?! Yep we had a 'Candle lit" pressie opening.. My house is fairly light so it was fine.. I'd already made breaky & coffee & stuff so it was actually more 'pretty" than a worry.
Later it was off to my aunts for dinner then home to drop the kids to their Dad's over night .. yep quite the time!!


The past couple nights we've been playing with one of Jessica's gifts... some thing called Xbox Kareeoke Revolution...
OH MY... what a BLAST ! the kids are having a great time with it & well so am I~! ( Mommy give back the Microphone.;)
You get to make a charater to sing as which has been the funniest part.. you get to choose a face, body type & outfit.. the whole pacakge..
well ..Jessica made herself an outfit that would make your hair curl! GOOD GRIEF! --- a tiny..& I mean tiny little Anarchy T-shirt the smallest short shorts I have EVER seen & Combat boots!! OH NO!! I fear my world in yrs to come!!
Jamie- I dressed in tight leather pants & a red shirt unbuttoned to his navel...he looks GOOOD!
& Steven looked like the ultimate rock boy complete with leather jacket & chafeurs cap!Oh..BOY!

Oh yeah -we have been having just a little too much fun with that part of it! ... but the singing part has been a rush too... the kids have really enjoyed it... & well Mommy has discovered that she really is a child of the 80's! Oh Man .. you should see how well I sing Blondie's" Call Me" after a few glasses of wine! I even broke a new record with that one!! ! WOOO HOOO!

Some how I think the kids weren't that sad that I had to go to work tonight...at least they got to play with whatever THEY wanted ~LOL

Hope you all are well... I'll go reading tommorow!

Happy Christmas Everyone!

Well here it is...

Christmas Eve ,eve... are you all ready?? I still don't know if I am...
got pretty much all my wrapping done today..& tonight..Yay Me!( kids are at their Dad's..) but half my brain is still not in it..
There are still too many unresolved issues around my life right now..

My sister still hasn't had her baby .. so we won't be going there until AFTER.. which makes me wonder WHY I took the last week & a half off!! ( I thought she would be early for some reason..)
I still don't know no how or when I am going to travel there Flying will be expensive as heck & Driving with my parents is stil the only other option since Jamie is stuck here till the New Yr looking after my Father in law buisiness.... ( isn't timiming FUN! ) ~LOL...

Oh well it will sort itself out somehow... that I can depend on...
the rest of stuff that is bugging me .. I can't do much about .. it just hurts .. that's all. Sorry.. It's been a Long day for me..

I will be glad when this whole Christmas insanity is done & we can all get on with the New Year!

Take care
Have a Great Christmas !
I'll see you after all the wrapping paper has settled!

Hugs Lala*

MY SEVEN 7's....


Well, I was going to try & write this last night but I had the beginings of a migraine & Jamie said "don't you DARE try to write on the computer like that--Get to bed !!" ( He can be bossy sometimes..or at least try! ~lol~ you'll have to meet him to understand- he's the LEAST bossy person I know!)

THINGS I wanna do before I die..

1- take Salsa/Ballroom dancing with Jamie
2- Travel to South America & go river-rafting there
3 -travel through the UK & trace all my roots(..this life & others.. I might not come back ~lol)
4- finish my scuba lessons ( don't ask- the Ex was sucking at it so WE quit! -stupid-stupid!)
5- watch my children grow up to be happy well balance adults
6 -Retire with Jamie (s0oner than later please) & have a little cottage
7 - Run away on a BIG boat we can live on for months at a time & FISH :)

Yes, all of these seem intertwined... we've talked about it all a LOT -- it keeps us sane in the bad moments of our world

THINGS I cannot do..

1 - forgive my Husbands ex for hurting my children the horrible way she did..
2- take a compliment very well..
3- not try to constantly "save" or "help" people
4- not be emotional & impulsive
5-stop having "feelings" about things happening ( I've finally learned to embrace my weirdness)
6-Do any one task with out getting distracted at least once!
7- go up to bed if the kitchen is the least bit messy ( drives Jamie nuts when I'm crashing around at 12am after work!)


THINGS I admire in others..

1 - Patience
2- absolute dedication & self discipline
3 -the ability to let things go when you can't do anything about them
4- the ability to truly forgive
5- intellingence & the will to use it wisely
6- a wicked sense of humor& wit
7- artistic & creative talents

THINGS you'll most hear me say..

1- I love you ( ask Jamie.. it's the first thing we say when we wake up.. & with the kids it's to preface any lecture & every single time I'm gonna be away from them.. even just to sleep!)

2-Absolutely!
3-No worries
4 I hear ya!
5 .Flipa doodle! ( my own brand of swearwords ~lol)
6 Hamsterbrain ( as in- don't be)
7- Hon.. or love


SEVEN books I Love..

Only 7??? -- Geees I read anything & everything that doesnt get up & leave the room on me!

1-Any Rosamunde Pilcher
2-Any Maeve Binchy
3-All of the Tolkien book including the Hobbit
4-Piers Anthony's " Incarnations of Imortality " series
5- Any Erma Bombeck (g0d she is funny!)
6-The whole James Herriot vet series
7-Robert Fulghum ( he wrote" Everything I ever needed to know I learned in Kindergarten.".) He has several others with amazing little stories about life & human nature.. go find them if you wanna good laugh &/or cry

SEVEN movies I have watched over & over..

1- The Princess Bride ( when Jamie & I got together we knew it was FATE -we had about 4 copies between us!!
2-Willow ( yes- I know I like fairly tales!)
3-ALL of the Lord of the Rings
4-Practical Magic ( it reminds me of my sister & I..)
5- School of Rock (too funny- good tunes~lol)
6 -The Grinch (Jim Carey- Need i say more?)
7 - pretty much EVERYTHING Disney ever made!


SEVEN people I want to join in...
Geees! Is there anyone who hasn't done this yet?? I'll go check..

1- Connie
2-Jess
3-Godessa
4 Lori & Casey once they get the "twins" settled in at home~lol
5 - anyone
6- else
7- I missed!



HUGS ALL!

I'm off for the Day again!

BUSY BUSY TIME!!

I have been "stupid "Busy the past few days !
Did all sort of exciting Christmassy things this past weekend with the kids... Took the Westcoast Express train in to Vancouver first thing Sat AM ( it was a fundraiser for the local Toy bank :) - spent the day playing tourist in our own town so to speak... went across to North vancouver to the Quay ( pretty with lots of shops but "Boring" mostly if youre a boy -said Steven LOL~!) Spent the afternoon looking at the Chrstimas tree displays at Canada Place ( a landmark here in Vancouver..) You know what ?? I guess I'm gonna have to figure out how to post a link so that anyone besides Suzanne & Bev & maybe Stef since she's been up here have ANY idea what the heck I'm talking about!! LMAO... ok lets see here..http://www.vancouver-bc.com/ hey I did it!! Whooo Hoo see I'm not as totally computer illierate as I thought!
OK well there ya go!!! That is OUR city & I for one think it's one of the most Gorgeous places you could ever visit!

So on with my story .. we got home late Sat night & watched some Chrsitmas shows -- It's nice to just cuddle up with the kids when I can.. most times we're so damn busy with all their activities or worse -- I'm at work &/or they're at their Dad's .. ( the BAD part of working pemanent eves 3-11:(
Sunday- ended up being house cleaning & then going BACK into Vancouver for dinner & going on the minature light tour train ( this one a fund raiser for the Fire Dept) MY parents wanted to go with the kids & bring my Gramma .. ( I think they were miffed they missed the day before's activities! ~lol )
Got home in time to check into Tracker & find what I hoped I wouldn't -- about *Julie *
I had been thinking about her & had a "feeling" about it , during the day & hoped I was wrong....
Sometimes I just wish I was wrong about these feelings...
So needless to say I wanted nothing more than my bed..

Yesterday was Baking & then entertaining in the eve... No, didn't get Tracey's "poop"balls made~lol~ that will have to wait - I got over ruled !
Today was finishing off projects with the kids- I think I've just now finally got the last of the wax, sparkles & gingerbread house icing off the floors!! & get to have time for ME on the 'puter..So here I am trying to get caught up on every one , the Tracker &.email..&... phew !- its time consuming !!- how do you all do it?
OK , Janel since you asked I will post my 7 's but that will have to wait.. my Father in laws dog Louie (who we are baby sitting again) is staring at me with his legs crossed!!!

talk to ya all soon...

Jessica...

here is pic of my Darling girl Jess :) She only 10 but everyone thinks she's older & sometimes even I forget!
Part of it is that she's 5' 3" for Heaven's sake!!

Yep, she'll be patting me on the head to say bye before school soon enough!
The other thing is that she 's soooo quick witted & smart that most Grown ups really figure she's older..
I'm really lucky.. she is for all her grown up looks, a very sweet, wonderful girl! She has alway been so easy going ---even as a baby - she only ever cried when she wanted to be fed.. ( & she stilll LOVES her food~lol)

I never went through the tantrums stuff with her as a toddler either.. she really has alway been such a happy girl... in fact her first words were not Mommy or Daddy ..but" HI!!" - You have to have seen the faces on people when this little tiny thing of only 10 months was talking to them in the stores & at the parks... she loved the reaction it got , giggled at it..yep- she quickly learned words get attention & she hasn't stopped talking since ~lol

She still sorta has a cute naive streak tho' that I cherish & will hold onto for as long as the world permits..

I worry sometimes that she is learning things.. about keeping thoughts & words inside to avoid conflict & discord...( hmmm ALOT like Mommy?) even now I see her doing that with things between her Dad & I .
I try to talk with her & draw it out... I don't want her to learn that as a permanent coping mecahnism.. I love her too much to have her be like me in that way..

It's funny--I am sooooo excited about her, & her growing up & us having the sort of friendship , the amazing warm loving realationship that I know Mother's & daughters can have.. Even now it's just neat us getting to go do" Girl things" together.. I really am very blessed & thankful for her :) OK..I 'll stop for now-- I'm getting all Mushy..

I'm gonna go sit with the kids & watch Charlie Brown now!

G'night all!

Introductions..

After talking with both Suzanne & Janel in the past day or so..( which has been really cool btw!) I've decided to introduce you to the faces that belong to the names I keep blithering on about... So without further ado... here's my boy Steven.. He's 7 & the most amazing little guy!
He has the face of an angel so I'm told.. with eyes that just seem to capture everyone's attention - especially ANYONE female!!- why is it that the boys alway get the LONG eyelashes?? ~lol
I'm so very lucky that he still LOVES to cuddle with Mommy ..& even when he climbs into my bed in the morning with freezing little feet , I can't refuse him!
He is smart as a whip & loves school - for which I'm also grateful :)
He also has been incredibly precocious when it comes to anything active.. he's always wanted to do whatever he saw someone else doing & generally masters whatever he puts his mind to in no time!
This was the little one that just after we moved 5yrs ago to this neighbourhood where all the boys are a few yrs older- that came wandering back up the driveway asking " I please skay-board Mommy??" Akkkkkk!!! NO you're only 2 Steven!! you're not going skateboarding~! you can't even say it yet! ~lol...
Well he proved me wrong! -- by the days end he had 2 of the older girls in the cul-de-sac helping him & was Happy as a clam!( note the older female theme.. hmmm...I worry sometimes!)
He loves music & has an amazing memory for song lyrics... when Shrek came out.. again he was about 3 he could sing all the words to "hey Now Your a Rockstar.." always fun to amaze people with! .... Now if he could just remember that when I send him up to brush his teeth that doesn't mean play with Lego!!

Gotta go get them from school... write more later!





EDIT..
This I copied from Janel's Blog..a bit about me I suppose.. mostly acurate... hmm-- not sure if I like all of that! I think I like my "happy" edited versions of every one myself included, better! ~lol

You Have a Choleric Temperament

You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things.Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life.You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation. You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon.Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall.You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others. At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults.Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion.A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior.

What Temperment Are You?

Time to move on to the next thing..



OK well now the big uproar over a the Tracker is done ... & there is a takeover.. all beit a peaceful one planned for Jan 2.
I just hope that everyone is on the same page... that we wanna do this by being as positive & supportive as we all want the Tracker to be...& that it doesn't matter when you joined or how or who the Hell you are besides someone who wants more for themselves..that we need to ditch the idea of "cliques" ( Ive always hated them! grrr ) That we just want a "happy" "good place to go for hanging out with BLF friends!

I've said it elsewhere but-I'll say it here too... I hope I'm not just an idealist... I hope this can happen ... I really honestly would be one of those people who secretly just wishes we could all get along...

Oh great... I sound like flippin "Miss Congenieality".... " rant...rant rant...oh yes..& I want WORLD PEACE!" ~Lol~


PS- here's the 'contestant" herself... this past weekend.. having drinks at friends before heading out to Jamie's work Xmas party.... ;)

Merry Ho Ho's all....G'night..

Something heavy on my mind....

I don't know how or where else to voice my concerns about something that has been bugging me the past couple of days.. & since this is my place to write.. here's where it's going...

There's been some ups & downs & obvious reason why most of us have all but left the Tracker for the world of Blogging. For me, a lot of that had to do with my basic dislike of discord ..which seems to happen in regular cycles around there--& really, I have enough things in my life that can be altogether TOO negative as it is,Thanks!

Anywho..that being said I still pop in to the Tracker regularly just to see what's going on & sometimes post a comment here & there or just pm those I feel I might have anything useful to say to .
Mostly I just "lurk" especially as of late as there seems to be a whole new "ruling" group & frankly I am really not into the games that are going on there. It seems that things are getting really out of hand - call me a prude but -the sexually loaded stuff is getting just a little over the top! I'm all for teasing jokes & "hey you're lookin HOT" comments... but some of what's going on is embarassing!
& I feel bad for those new people just joining or starting that are really looking for support & feedback... It's almost like having a child that is acting like an idiot in front of guests! Weird I know- but that's how it's been making me feel..

& Now for the other bit.. I'm worried about a couple of people there & their real motivation for joining the group. Now I understand some are there to get attention or stir stuff up .. but my insticts are being tweaked by one individual in particular & his repeated suggestions about naked pics & such..
Then out of the blue I got a PM from same individual making the intial comment of "hey you're looking great! which is always nice ( even when I still have my old pics up- 'cause I'm not putting any new ones up till I get back to that shape & better~lol) ...but then he goes on to say he'd love to see more pics.. I wrote back telling him I would post some when I was happy with how I was looking again..kept it light & laughing ..then He writes back again- & says that maybe I don't want to share pics with every one.. maybe we could exchange them"privately".."what do you think of that?"
Well that just struck a really weird chord with me --the whole thing just felt "sleezy" & then I wonder just who else this person is canvasing pictures from... & better yet what for!

Now maybe I'm just getting paranoid in my old age..~lol... but this whole issue is really bugging me & I don't know what to do about it. Partly I worry about others who may be-- I dunno.."lured" into something that could get plastered Gods know where!! -- I know everyone is adult on Tracker.. but I just can't stand the thought of anyone being taken advantage of..EVER!
& moreover it really is abusing what the site is supposed to be about!

ok that's off my chest... but I still don't know what else to do.... *sigh*

Ya I stole this from Suzanne..who stole it from Carole... but what are Blends for?? ;)


What does your name mean?

Pamela
A loving person, all honey : Greek
You are charming, talented and have a very positive attitude to life so it is hardly surprising that you attract success and recognition. Focussed and patient you understand that material rewards are a result of discipline. Being so creative and with a need for self-expression you may be drawn towards the arts, travel is also likely to be important. A loyal friend, you are a person who must be allowed freedom and independence.


Well...don't I sound like a "nice girl"... ~lol


Have A Great Day All

..We're goin Christmas Tree "huntin" after school! ;)
..& the 7 yr old wants to "cut" it
what is it with boys??? ~lol
wish us luck!........

Word to the wise.... Don't Start your morning by reading Blogs... You don't get a damn thing done!
Here's a pic of someone who came to our house the other day... WOW what an experience!! these Guys are HUGE!! & he was right outside the window! Soo Cool!

10 points to anyone who knows what he is! ;)

Guess I should do a follow up on the skiing first off!!

It was GREAT ! We had such a fun time... It was really nice since I've never really skied with anyone except my family &/or Jamie (The ex didn't ski at all soooo I hadn't been in 10 yrs when Jamie took me the first time!)


I have to say,I really enjoyed being out with another couple.. I don't know about everyone else.. but it seems that our spare time to get together with other "grownups" is soo limited.. I guess with all the kids & their activites -- it just makes finding the time so damn difficult. & Especially with people working all sorts of different times& shift-work being more prevalent... it just adds to the difficulty.

For me, I really find working a straight eve shift has it's good points ...I get to be around to be with the kids in the AM & take them to school - & between the days they go to with their Dad ( he works shiftwork too so the days he has them fluctuates.. weird I guess for some ..but it works for our world) & the fact that Jamie works in Sales & can organize his day to be home at 2 & do office work from here when I have to go to work---the kids don't ever need daycare. So I count my self very lucky in that respect..

But on the flip side I have a lot of my day that I spend by myself... Yes I go to the Gym... (probably a good thing since when I worked out at home.. there was sooo mamy distractions... like laundry! ~lol) But for me even going to the gym is a solitary event.. I go .. do my thing & leave.. - yes I'll smile & say the odd "Hi" -but it's really not forming a friendship now is it??

& I have a couple girlfriends that I've made through the kids - but even them as I said we hook up once in a while at best...

Other than that, I really only ever spend my non-work spare time with the kids & /or Jamie.. I say or 'cause we get days with no kids at times.. which is nice - we look at it as the time we lost when we "should" have been together!

But I wonder some times if I'm entirely too dependant on him... I can honestly say that he's my best friend..that given a choice I'd want to spend all my time with him. But does that make me pathetic?? Am I expecting him to be the be all & end all in my world? ... make up for all the time I feel lonely... I dunno

Thoughts for the day I guess....

GOOD LEG WORKOUT....Comming up!

Well this week has been mostly good... had a bit of an off day yesterday.. mighta been the weather.. It was sorta snowing ..& I got worried cause I had to work in the eve.. so I think I stewed about it all day .. ending up NOT working out & eating crap to boot! Today I made up for it though.. Did a Good HIIT then 45 more min of cardio ...( I guess as penance! ~lol~

& Tomorrow for a LEg workout...we're going up to one of our local Mountains & going SKIING - (yay) while the kids are all in school ...( yea that ought to be a bit insane time wise but Hopefully it works out alright..)

I also hope I don't wipe out.. I'm not a fantatic skier.. but I do ok mostly. I'm concerned 'cause we're going so early in the season...again!!!

HUH you say... well- I guess 3yrs ago now Jamie & I went skiing on our Honeymoon.. a 4 day whirlwind up to a friend's cabin at SunPeaks & it was early in the season... read "with lots of rocks!" arrrg! & while trying NOT to damage my Aunt's new skis I was borrowing .. I had a near wipe out. ...I say near beacause I did everything NOT to actually FALL! ( I had no designs on embarassing the hell out of myself in front of my darling expert skier husband!!)


Wellllll --falling would have been the better choice since I managed to screw my back up royally!!! Wrecked Christmas.. I was in pain & miserable! I couldn't decorate.. or drive to shop couldn't even get Steven to preschool on my own- talk about feeling helpless & pathetic! GRRRRR!
So 2 months of physio later they finally figure out it's not my upper back & neck at ALL -- I had actually twisted my spine within my pelvis so that all the muscles were trying to constantly pull it back into place...FUN eh??

Soooo I don't wanna do THAT again.. needless to say! So off to bed for some much needed rest -- then up bright & early :)
wish me LUCK!