CHRISTMAS REVIEW..

I tried to write this earlier today but then accidently deleted the whole bloody thing while trying to get rid of duplicate pics that somehow got put on... ( I dunno!- I still am such a Rookie at this Blogging! ) arrrg! so now hours later ..I'm home from work & ought to redo it..

Chrisitmas.. welll..it's done yay! ... Still no Baby ( geees why did I take time off work? )

But Christmas turned out to be a real whirlwind few days! LOTS of visiting & having friends over..
Christmas Eve ended up being crazy busy .. Out to Abbotsford in the Am.. then back home to finish off baskets with the kids for all my aunts & uncles ,then over to our friends up the block for a campfire christmas caroling ( it was lots of fun the the kids really enjoyed it! Then back here for yet more friends comming over ( amazing what happens when Jamie & I both make plans without the other knowing first- Akk! ) oh well it was nice :)
Kids didn't get to bed till after 10.. & I was up till ..well late! Gonna have to blame that on Suzanne! We ended up on the phone yaking about kids not going to bed-- & everything else...my sides are still sore from laughing! ;)

Got up the next Am & thankfully the kids slept in till after 8.. nice for Mommy!
My parents came over with my Gramma & then you'll never guess what happened... give up?? well, the power went out!
The joy of wind & trees eh?! Yep we had a 'Candle lit" pressie opening.. My house is fairly light so it was fine.. I'd already made breaky & coffee & stuff so it was actually more 'pretty" than a worry.
Later it was off to my aunts for dinner then home to drop the kids to their Dad's over night .. yep quite the time!!


The past couple nights we've been playing with one of Jessica's gifts... some thing called Xbox Kareeoke Revolution...
OH MY... what a BLAST ! the kids are having a great time with it & well so am I~! ( Mommy give back the Microphone.;)
You get to make a charater to sing as which has been the funniest part.. you get to choose a face, body type & outfit.. the whole pacakge..
well ..Jessica made herself an outfit that would make your hair curl! GOOD GRIEF! --- a tiny..& I mean tiny little Anarchy T-shirt the smallest short shorts I have EVER seen & Combat boots!! OH NO!! I fear my world in yrs to come!!
Jamie- I dressed in tight leather pants & a red shirt unbuttoned to his navel...he looks GOOOD!
& Steven looked like the ultimate rock boy complete with leather jacket & chafeurs cap!Oh..BOY!

Oh yeah -we have been having just a little too much fun with that part of it! ... but the singing part has been a rush too... the kids have really enjoyed it... & well Mommy has discovered that she really is a child of the 80's! Oh Man .. you should see how well I sing Blondie's" Call Me" after a few glasses of wine! I even broke a new record with that one!! ! WOOO HOOO!

Some how I think the kids weren't that sad that I had to go to work tonight...at least they got to play with whatever THEY wanted ~LOL

Hope you all are well... I'll go reading tommorow!

Happy Christmas Everyone!

Well here it is...

Christmas Eve ,eve... are you all ready?? I still don't know if I am...
got pretty much all my wrapping done today..& tonight..Yay Me!( kids are at their Dad's..) but half my brain is still not in it..
There are still too many unresolved issues around my life right now..

My sister still hasn't had her baby .. so we won't be going there until AFTER.. which makes me wonder WHY I took the last week & a half off!! ( I thought she would be early for some reason..)
I still don't know no how or when I am going to travel there Flying will be expensive as heck & Driving with my parents is stil the only other option since Jamie is stuck here till the New Yr looking after my Father in law buisiness.... ( isn't timiming FUN! ) ~LOL...

Oh well it will sort itself out somehow... that I can depend on...
the rest of stuff that is bugging me .. I can't do much about .. it just hurts .. that's all. Sorry.. It's been a Long day for me..

I will be glad when this whole Christmas insanity is done & we can all get on with the New Year!

Take care
Have a Great Christmas !
I'll see you after all the wrapping paper has settled!

Hugs Lala*

MY SEVEN 7's....


Well, I was going to try & write this last night but I had the beginings of a migraine & Jamie said "don't you DARE try to write on the computer like that--Get to bed !!" ( He can be bossy sometimes..or at least try! ~lol~ you'll have to meet him to understand- he's the LEAST bossy person I know!)

THINGS I wanna do before I die..

1- take Salsa/Ballroom dancing with Jamie
2- Travel to South America & go river-rafting there
3 -travel through the UK & trace all my roots(..this life & others.. I might not come back ~lol)
4- finish my scuba lessons ( don't ask- the Ex was sucking at it so WE quit! -stupid-stupid!)
5- watch my children grow up to be happy well balance adults
6 -Retire with Jamie (s0oner than later please) & have a little cottage
7 - Run away on a BIG boat we can live on for months at a time & FISH :)

Yes, all of these seem intertwined... we've talked about it all a LOT -- it keeps us sane in the bad moments of our world

THINGS I cannot do..

1 - forgive my Husbands ex for hurting my children the horrible way she did..
2- take a compliment very well..
3- not try to constantly "save" or "help" people
4- not be emotional & impulsive
5-stop having "feelings" about things happening ( I've finally learned to embrace my weirdness)
6-Do any one task with out getting distracted at least once!
7- go up to bed if the kitchen is the least bit messy ( drives Jamie nuts when I'm crashing around at 12am after work!)


THINGS I admire in others..

1 - Patience
2- absolute dedication & self discipline
3 -the ability to let things go when you can't do anything about them
4- the ability to truly forgive
5- intellingence & the will to use it wisely
6- a wicked sense of humor& wit
7- artistic & creative talents

THINGS you'll most hear me say..

1- I love you ( ask Jamie.. it's the first thing we say when we wake up.. & with the kids it's to preface any lecture & every single time I'm gonna be away from them.. even just to sleep!)

2-Absolutely!
3-No worries
4 I hear ya!
5 .Flipa doodle! ( my own brand of swearwords ~lol)
6 Hamsterbrain ( as in- don't be)
7- Hon.. or love


SEVEN books I Love..

Only 7??? -- Geees I read anything & everything that doesnt get up & leave the room on me!

1-Any Rosamunde Pilcher
2-Any Maeve Binchy
3-All of the Tolkien book including the Hobbit
4-Piers Anthony's " Incarnations of Imortality " series
5- Any Erma Bombeck (g0d she is funny!)
6-The whole James Herriot vet series
7-Robert Fulghum ( he wrote" Everything I ever needed to know I learned in Kindergarten.".) He has several others with amazing little stories about life & human nature.. go find them if you wanna good laugh &/or cry

SEVEN movies I have watched over & over..

1- The Princess Bride ( when Jamie & I got together we knew it was FATE -we had about 4 copies between us!!
2-Willow ( yes- I know I like fairly tales!)
3-ALL of the Lord of the Rings
4-Practical Magic ( it reminds me of my sister & I..)
5- School of Rock (too funny- good tunes~lol)
6 -The Grinch (Jim Carey- Need i say more?)
7 - pretty much EVERYTHING Disney ever made!


SEVEN people I want to join in...
Geees! Is there anyone who hasn't done this yet?? I'll go check..

1- Connie
2-Jess
3-Godessa
4 Lori & Casey once they get the "twins" settled in at home~lol
5 - anyone
6- else
7- I missed!



HUGS ALL!

I'm off for the Day again!

BUSY BUSY TIME!!

I have been "stupid "Busy the past few days !
Did all sort of exciting Christmassy things this past weekend with the kids... Took the Westcoast Express train in to Vancouver first thing Sat AM ( it was a fundraiser for the local Toy bank :) - spent the day playing tourist in our own town so to speak... went across to North vancouver to the Quay ( pretty with lots of shops but "Boring" mostly if youre a boy -said Steven LOL~!) Spent the afternoon looking at the Chrstimas tree displays at Canada Place ( a landmark here in Vancouver..) You know what ?? I guess I'm gonna have to figure out how to post a link so that anyone besides Suzanne & Bev & maybe Stef since she's been up here have ANY idea what the heck I'm talking about!! LMAO... ok lets see here..http://www.vancouver-bc.com/ hey I did it!! Whooo Hoo see I'm not as totally computer illierate as I thought!
OK well there ya go!!! That is OUR city & I for one think it's one of the most Gorgeous places you could ever visit!

So on with my story .. we got home late Sat night & watched some Chrsitmas shows -- It's nice to just cuddle up with the kids when I can.. most times we're so damn busy with all their activities or worse -- I'm at work &/or they're at their Dad's .. ( the BAD part of working pemanent eves 3-11:(
Sunday- ended up being house cleaning & then going BACK into Vancouver for dinner & going on the minature light tour train ( this one a fund raiser for the Fire Dept) MY parents wanted to go with the kids & bring my Gramma .. ( I think they were miffed they missed the day before's activities! ~lol )
Got home in time to check into Tracker & find what I hoped I wouldn't -- about *Julie *
I had been thinking about her & had a "feeling" about it , during the day & hoped I was wrong....
Sometimes I just wish I was wrong about these feelings...
So needless to say I wanted nothing more than my bed..

Yesterday was Baking & then entertaining in the eve... No, didn't get Tracey's "poop"balls made~lol~ that will have to wait - I got over ruled !
Today was finishing off projects with the kids- I think I've just now finally got the last of the wax, sparkles & gingerbread house icing off the floors!! & get to have time for ME on the 'puter..So here I am trying to get caught up on every one , the Tracker &.email..&... phew !- its time consuming !!- how do you all do it?
OK , Janel since you asked I will post my 7 's but that will have to wait.. my Father in laws dog Louie (who we are baby sitting again) is staring at me with his legs crossed!!!

talk to ya all soon...

Jessica...

here is pic of my Darling girl Jess :) She only 10 but everyone thinks she's older & sometimes even I forget!
Part of it is that she's 5' 3" for Heaven's sake!!

Yep, she'll be patting me on the head to say bye before school soon enough!
The other thing is that she 's soooo quick witted & smart that most Grown ups really figure she's older..
I'm really lucky.. she is for all her grown up looks, a very sweet, wonderful girl! She has alway been so easy going ---even as a baby - she only ever cried when she wanted to be fed.. ( & she stilll LOVES her food~lol)

I never went through the tantrums stuff with her as a toddler either.. she really has alway been such a happy girl... in fact her first words were not Mommy or Daddy ..but" HI!!" - You have to have seen the faces on people when this little tiny thing of only 10 months was talking to them in the stores & at the parks... she loved the reaction it got , giggled at it..yep- she quickly learned words get attention & she hasn't stopped talking since ~lol

She still sorta has a cute naive streak tho' that I cherish & will hold onto for as long as the world permits..

I worry sometimes that she is learning things.. about keeping thoughts & words inside to avoid conflict & discord...( hmmm ALOT like Mommy?) even now I see her doing that with things between her Dad & I .
I try to talk with her & draw it out... I don't want her to learn that as a permanent coping mecahnism.. I love her too much to have her be like me in that way..

It's funny--I am sooooo excited about her, & her growing up & us having the sort of friendship , the amazing warm loving realationship that I know Mother's & daughters can have.. Even now it's just neat us getting to go do" Girl things" together.. I really am very blessed & thankful for her :) OK..I 'll stop for now-- I'm getting all Mushy..

I'm gonna go sit with the kids & watch Charlie Brown now!

G'night all!

Introductions..

After talking with both Suzanne & Janel in the past day or so..( which has been really cool btw!) I've decided to introduce you to the faces that belong to the names I keep blithering on about... So without further ado... here's my boy Steven.. He's 7 & the most amazing little guy!
He has the face of an angel so I'm told.. with eyes that just seem to capture everyone's attention - especially ANYONE female!!- why is it that the boys alway get the LONG eyelashes?? ~lol
I'm so very lucky that he still LOVES to cuddle with Mommy ..& even when he climbs into my bed in the morning with freezing little feet , I can't refuse him!
He is smart as a whip & loves school - for which I'm also grateful :)
He also has been incredibly precocious when it comes to anything active.. he's always wanted to do whatever he saw someone else doing & generally masters whatever he puts his mind to in no time!
This was the little one that just after we moved 5yrs ago to this neighbourhood where all the boys are a few yrs older- that came wandering back up the driveway asking " I please skay-board Mommy??" Akkkkkk!!! NO you're only 2 Steven!! you're not going skateboarding~! you can't even say it yet! ~lol...
Well he proved me wrong! -- by the days end he had 2 of the older girls in the cul-de-sac helping him & was Happy as a clam!( note the older female theme.. hmmm...I worry sometimes!)
He loves music & has an amazing memory for song lyrics... when Shrek came out.. again he was about 3 he could sing all the words to "hey Now Your a Rockstar.." always fun to amaze people with! .... Now if he could just remember that when I send him up to brush his teeth that doesn't mean play with Lego!!

Gotta go get them from school... write more later!





EDIT..
This I copied from Janel's Blog..a bit about me I suppose.. mostly acurate... hmm-- not sure if I like all of that! I think I like my "happy" edited versions of every one myself included, better! ~lol

You Have a Choleric Temperament

You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things.Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life.You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation. You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon.Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall.You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others. At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults.Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion.A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior.

What Temperment Are You?

Time to move on to the next thing..



OK well now the big uproar over a the Tracker is done ... & there is a takeover.. all beit a peaceful one planned for Jan 2.
I just hope that everyone is on the same page... that we wanna do this by being as positive & supportive as we all want the Tracker to be...& that it doesn't matter when you joined or how or who the Hell you are besides someone who wants more for themselves..that we need to ditch the idea of "cliques" ( Ive always hated them! grrr ) That we just want a "happy" "good place to go for hanging out with BLF friends!

I've said it elsewhere but-I'll say it here too... I hope I'm not just an idealist... I hope this can happen ... I really honestly would be one of those people who secretly just wishes we could all get along...

Oh great... I sound like flippin "Miss Congenieality".... " rant...rant rant...oh yes..& I want WORLD PEACE!" ~Lol~


PS- here's the 'contestant" herself... this past weekend.. having drinks at friends before heading out to Jamie's work Xmas party.... ;)

Merry Ho Ho's all....G'night..

Something heavy on my mind....

I don't know how or where else to voice my concerns about something that has been bugging me the past couple of days.. & since this is my place to write.. here's where it's going...

There's been some ups & downs & obvious reason why most of us have all but left the Tracker for the world of Blogging. For me, a lot of that had to do with my basic dislike of discord ..which seems to happen in regular cycles around there--& really, I have enough things in my life that can be altogether TOO negative as it is,Thanks!

Anywho..that being said I still pop in to the Tracker regularly just to see what's going on & sometimes post a comment here & there or just pm those I feel I might have anything useful to say to .
Mostly I just "lurk" especially as of late as there seems to be a whole new "ruling" group & frankly I am really not into the games that are going on there. It seems that things are getting really out of hand - call me a prude but -the sexually loaded stuff is getting just a little over the top! I'm all for teasing jokes & "hey you're lookin HOT" comments... but some of what's going on is embarassing!
& I feel bad for those new people just joining or starting that are really looking for support & feedback... It's almost like having a child that is acting like an idiot in front of guests! Weird I know- but that's how it's been making me feel..

& Now for the other bit.. I'm worried about a couple of people there & their real motivation for joining the group. Now I understand some are there to get attention or stir stuff up .. but my insticts are being tweaked by one individual in particular & his repeated suggestions about naked pics & such..
Then out of the blue I got a PM from same individual making the intial comment of "hey you're looking great! which is always nice ( even when I still have my old pics up- 'cause I'm not putting any new ones up till I get back to that shape & better~lol) ...but then he goes on to say he'd love to see more pics.. I wrote back telling him I would post some when I was happy with how I was looking again..kept it light & laughing ..then He writes back again- & says that maybe I don't want to share pics with every one.. maybe we could exchange them"privately".."what do you think of that?"
Well that just struck a really weird chord with me --the whole thing just felt "sleezy" & then I wonder just who else this person is canvasing pictures from... & better yet what for!

Now maybe I'm just getting paranoid in my old age..~lol... but this whole issue is really bugging me & I don't know what to do about it. Partly I worry about others who may be-- I dunno.."lured" into something that could get plastered Gods know where!! -- I know everyone is adult on Tracker.. but I just can't stand the thought of anyone being taken advantage of..EVER!
& moreover it really is abusing what the site is supposed to be about!

ok that's off my chest... but I still don't know what else to do.... *sigh*

Ya I stole this from Suzanne..who stole it from Carole... but what are Blends for?? ;)


What does your name mean?

Pamela
A loving person, all honey : Greek
You are charming, talented and have a very positive attitude to life so it is hardly surprising that you attract success and recognition. Focussed and patient you understand that material rewards are a result of discipline. Being so creative and with a need for self-expression you may be drawn towards the arts, travel is also likely to be important. A loyal friend, you are a person who must be allowed freedom and independence.


Well...don't I sound like a "nice girl"... ~lol


Have A Great Day All

..We're goin Christmas Tree "huntin" after school! ;)
..& the 7 yr old wants to "cut" it
what is it with boys??? ~lol
wish us luck!........

Word to the wise.... Don't Start your morning by reading Blogs... You don't get a damn thing done!
Here's a pic of someone who came to our house the other day... WOW what an experience!! these Guys are HUGE!! & he was right outside the window! Soo Cool!

10 points to anyone who knows what he is! ;)

Guess I should do a follow up on the skiing first off!!

It was GREAT ! We had such a fun time... It was really nice since I've never really skied with anyone except my family &/or Jamie (The ex didn't ski at all soooo I hadn't been in 10 yrs when Jamie took me the first time!)


I have to say,I really enjoyed being out with another couple.. I don't know about everyone else.. but it seems that our spare time to get together with other "grownups" is soo limited.. I guess with all the kids & their activites -- it just makes finding the time so damn difficult. & Especially with people working all sorts of different times& shift-work being more prevalent... it just adds to the difficulty.

For me, I really find working a straight eve shift has it's good points ...I get to be around to be with the kids in the AM & take them to school - & between the days they go to with their Dad ( he works shiftwork too so the days he has them fluctuates.. weird I guess for some ..but it works for our world) & the fact that Jamie works in Sales & can organize his day to be home at 2 & do office work from here when I have to go to work---the kids don't ever need daycare. So I count my self very lucky in that respect..

But on the flip side I have a lot of my day that I spend by myself... Yes I go to the Gym... (probably a good thing since when I worked out at home.. there was sooo mamy distractions... like laundry! ~lol) But for me even going to the gym is a solitary event.. I go .. do my thing & leave.. - yes I'll smile & say the odd "Hi" -but it's really not forming a friendship now is it??

& I have a couple girlfriends that I've made through the kids - but even them as I said we hook up once in a while at best...

Other than that, I really only ever spend my non-work spare time with the kids & /or Jamie.. I say or 'cause we get days with no kids at times.. which is nice - we look at it as the time we lost when we "should" have been together!

But I wonder some times if I'm entirely too dependant on him... I can honestly say that he's my best friend..that given a choice I'd want to spend all my time with him. But does that make me pathetic?? Am I expecting him to be the be all & end all in my world? ... make up for all the time I feel lonely... I dunno

Thoughts for the day I guess....

GOOD LEG WORKOUT....Comming up!

Well this week has been mostly good... had a bit of an off day yesterday.. mighta been the weather.. It was sorta snowing ..& I got worried cause I had to work in the eve.. so I think I stewed about it all day .. ending up NOT working out & eating crap to boot! Today I made up for it though.. Did a Good HIIT then 45 more min of cardio ...( I guess as penance! ~lol~

& Tomorrow for a LEg workout...we're going up to one of our local Mountains & going SKIING - (yay) while the kids are all in school ...( yea that ought to be a bit insane time wise but Hopefully it works out alright..)

I also hope I don't wipe out.. I'm not a fantatic skier.. but I do ok mostly. I'm concerned 'cause we're going so early in the season...again!!!

HUH you say... well- I guess 3yrs ago now Jamie & I went skiing on our Honeymoon.. a 4 day whirlwind up to a friend's cabin at SunPeaks & it was early in the season... read "with lots of rocks!" arrrg! & while trying NOT to damage my Aunt's new skis I was borrowing .. I had a near wipe out. ...I say near beacause I did everything NOT to actually FALL! ( I had no designs on embarassing the hell out of myself in front of my darling expert skier husband!!)


Wellllll --falling would have been the better choice since I managed to screw my back up royally!!! Wrecked Christmas.. I was in pain & miserable! I couldn't decorate.. or drive to shop couldn't even get Steven to preschool on my own- talk about feeling helpless & pathetic! GRRRRR!
So 2 months of physio later they finally figure out it's not my upper back & neck at ALL -- I had actually twisted my spine within my pelvis so that all the muscles were trying to constantly pull it back into place...FUN eh??

Soooo I don't wanna do THAT again.. needless to say! So off to bed for some much needed rest -- then up bright & early :)
wish me LUCK!

Well ...I'll start off by saying HAPPY THANKSGIVING to all my friends south of the border! Hope you're all nice & full by now! :) LOL!...

Today was a kinda interesting day.. went to the Gym with the idea to talk to the owner /trainer there about splitting up my upper body routine.. well he's ALL gung ho on me getting into the serious training-!!! LOL!- Thinks if I decided to apply myself I have the right genetics in his mind that I could go compete . Now on a Good day that's awesome incentive to work hard. Yay team...:)

But what is it about the stupid little voice of self doubt in my head that tells me that I don't have what it takes.. That I just don't have the capability for self discipline that is needed to do anything like that??....
-I dunno some days I have all the fire & incentive in the world.. & then something throws me off track & it seems SOOOO hard not to just be "like everyone else" ... well the average people.. you know co- workers & friends who still to this day don't "get" why I keep going back to the BFL program ! It's so flippin hard sometimes to do this alone. Don't get me wrong.. I'm not sitting here feeling sorry for myself -- just thinking- self analyzing if you will!

Mostly..I'm wondering about Bill Phillips & his "crossing the ABYSS"... I every time I get right into the program..I think I've crossed it -- I know what I should be doing.. I "get" how this works.. how the work outs & cardio & eating go together to produce results..
Flip !!-- After doing this off & on for 5 yrs & being subjected to body building info galore for 5 yrs before that ..I have ALL sorts of great information in this wee brain of mine!!!
-- want to know a good exercise for any given body part?? ..Hey just ask!
-- Wanna know about protein & carbs...I'm your girl!!!
-- creatine.. Supplements.. you name it..it's in here somewhere!

Now here's the kicker... WHY can't I stick with this the way I know I really need to , to achieve the stellar results that I know are possible..
Have I never really crossed this "Abyss?? "... have I been fooling myself??

Am I a wimp, a chicken or do I just need someone to hold my hand ..& drag me away when I'd rather eat crap! `LOL..

Again.. I dunno..

On that note I'd better get back to work -- that I DO KNOW ... ;)

take care All...

You Are a Martini

There's no other way to say it: you're a total lush. You hold your liquor well, and you hold a lot of it!

What Mixed Drink Are You?

New day.... more silly fun tests people!
LOL :) ---let me know what YOU are!

Well it only took me a week but here's the pic I took the other day when I was raving about it being soooo GORGEOUS out here! this is looking off the balcony outside my bedroom. you can see that we've got some snow up on the mountains- YAY skiing time soon!
Today was another beautiful day & tomorrow is putting up X-mas lights ....poor Jamie! LOL ;)
I'm only mostly impossible about how I want things to look...& tonight we watched "Christmas with the Kranks".. a mildly funny movie.. but in it the houses are amazingly decorated! ...hmmmm yea.... he just looked down at me cuddled up in his arm & said... Uh uh ... no way! LOL!...;)

It's Friday night & I just got.....hey did you know that there is NO music note sign on this thing.. hmmm wanted to put some of them around so you could hear the song in my head...lol --ya, right! ok just imagine them then ok??
Soooo, I'm stuck here at work Blaaaa boring! & now I've spent my whole dinner break trying to read up on what I've missed with going out Christmas shopping all day before work the past 2 days.. & popping in on the Tracker - just to see what's going on there.. a rousing round of NOT bloody much as Tracey pointed out in a thread...made me feel a bit guilty .. which I will write back to -- later! lol!
Ok first I gotta say it's NEVER boring reading what is going on in everyone's world... sometimes it's the most humbling experience to see others who are really struggling with things.. really makes you appreciate the lack of traumatic things going on in my world right now!.. comparitively-- things are almost mundane!-- I mean hey- my hair has grown back in where it fell out in chunks last yr... lol...
I guess I should just be thankful ---& mostly I am.

except for my damn stupid foot !!...which is giving me greif again.. WTH?? I mean I injured the stupid thing back in MAY & it still is being well.... a PAIN! I thought that I could just jump on the treadmill & do a quick HIIT this morning before I did all my errrands-- well it was less than useful ! definitely not a 10 to be seen this morning! grrrrrrrrrr barely got through the 20 mins I made myself stay on there. So I don't know what I'm gonna do about this..... guess I'm stuck going to the gym to do the eliptical .. but that really isn't useful when time is short! Stupid , stupid, stupid foot!
ok enough whining for now.. I have to get up & get back to work.

I'll start this by saying I had a fantastic LBWO this morning & felt all fit & wonderful! :)

Then I'm gonna get all weird & say stuff that might leave some thinking I'm a toon!... LOL!
Well for starters I believe that everyone is entitled to whatever system of beliefs & thoughts that they wish... & that frankly -I think without something to believe in we as humans are pretty lost... ok enough of that train of thought or I'm gonna end up speculating on the way our poor world is going.. & that's a BIG topic.. & not what I'm mainly thinking about..

Unfourtunately my brain at any given time is going in about eight different directions! ( ya I know I work at a mental institution.. but I HAVE the keys!- LOL) Maybe it has something to do with being a Gemini! I dunno! LOL..

OK back to the original thought .. last night we had a chance to have a quiet night with the kids.. unusual 'cause most nights theres LOTs of activities going on or I'm off being the nursey-mommy.. anywho.. Steven (who's 7) was saying that he was having a hard time breathing after hearing a commercial about a baby crying bec, it's mom had been hit by a drunk driver.. anyone who's seen it knows what I'm talking about it's by MADD & it's really disturbing but very effective..
So I sat down with stevie on the stairs & talked with him.. & said the usual things that "Mommy isn't going anywhere & I'm not gonna die for a long time".. he seemed ok after that but at bed time he was clingy again& saying .." I'm just worried about you Mommy..."
When I went to bed I had the same oppressive - can't breath feeling.. but for me it's not new.. just not always helpful.. it generally happens when "something" is going to happen... ( ok this is where you're free to think I'm weird.. no worries.. )
But through my life this has happened & I've learned in the past severaly yrs to finally "listen" to what "they" - the powers that be/God/Gods whatever you wanna call it .. are trying to tell me. Although I wish it was clearer.. 'cause half the time I have no idea what the heck I'm supposed to do about any of it! -- especially when I get all fribbed out & it turns out to be something on a world level... gee ya I can do anything about that!
Anywho.. the lucky part is that I'm now with someone who not only can I talk to about all this ..but who can relate.. ( the REALLY good part about finally finding the "other half of me.."!)
So Jamie & I talked about both of us feeling "strange" like something not good was underway..
but again what do you do.. try to sleep & convince yourself it's just indigestion...LOL!

This morning Steven was himself pretty much .. but sighing alot.. so I asked him how he felt .. he said it he felt like breathing was hard .. now regarless of beliefs I'm a nurse & mother first ..so I always check the basics & no- everything physical seemed fine.. but my instict alarm bells were ringing .. so I suggested that we do some Good breathing on the way to school... a bit of meditation while walking thru our forest path to school seemed like a good idea :)

Well needless to say .. he went to school, Jamie went to work & me to the Gym.. but instead of going off shopping to Lougheed Mall by myself afterwards I called Jamie & asked him to meet me for lunch cause it just seemed like a better idea to be with him if I was feeling "off"...

So lunch was great & I even dragged him into Michael's --a craft store to find garland yay!
well on the way home he called me on my cell .. & sounded funny... he said "I'm Glad you didn't go to Lougheed Mall.." I said" Uh Huh.. I enjoyed being with you too honey! " He said NO....
I mean I'm Glad you weren't there.. that we weren't there.. there was someone with a gun there.. there were shots fired...!!!

WHOA this is Canada.. these things don't happen here.. well not out side of the "BIG" city..

So maybe .. I think just maybe .. this is what we were all "feeling" .. who knows right?? .. maybe it's all coinciedence.. but me ..I dunno
I think I'll just take a momment tonight to send up a quiet "thanks" to whoever is watching over me & mine....

Take care all...
G'night

Not going to start this with well or ok.. at least that shows I have some insight inot my ideosyncracies!! lol! will start off by saying I'm having a lovely day!... it's finally NOT raining..infact it's GORGEOUS out.. gonna take some pics & put them up so everyone else can see what am amazing place that Moggie & I get to live in!! yep.. she's up here too - hmmm maybe I should suggest that we should try to get together now that I don't feel like a big BFL fraud! lol..
Just got back from the gym & did an HOUR of cardio- sort of penance for not doing a damn thing all weekend except running around from Rmemeberance Day parade ( in the POURING rain! ) Beaver sleep over, to Jamie's 20th reunion, to soccer games, & then being a "good" wife& mommy & making us all a big Sunday night dinner since it was my day off & I was actually home! Geees ok maybe I was busy.. but it sure wasn't a BFL weekend that's all I have to say 'bout that

STILL have NO idea how to do links of this thing to get to other peoples Blogs.. wish some one could show me.. cause it's retarded that I have to go thru Tracker profiles everytime I want to find out how people are doin. ok maybe I just put everyone''s blog in "favorites.' -but don't want the kids stumbling onto BEV's "fireman escapades! " ;) LMAO! -but there's GOT to be a better way! LOL!

time for a shower...
see ya!

well ( yess I know I tend to start every Blog with silly words..! ) bad habit I guess! Anywho.. it's been a busy week with work & kids activities & being a good girl & going to the Gym every day! ( yay me! ) also been reading LOTS of other peoples blogs in any spare time I have . Wow... really given me a different perspective than ever just "chatting" to them on the Tracker.. I guess we all feel the need to be mostly up beat there.. even when there's things going on in your head that have you in turmoil.
It took me by surprise lately to find that others are struggling with all sorts of issues & some of them really no different than myself. Kinda wierd--but it makes me feel better in a way .. & less "alone". Have realized that hiding out on my own isn't going to make me feel any better.. that reaching out .. even in just writing this to get my thoughts out is better than having them go round in circles in my head! & taking the time to "help" others by words & deeds is probably really the best way for me to feel better.... so that's what makes me happy - feeling usefull... & makes me appreciate all the good that is in my world.
ok this is sounding vague & introspective sooo i think it's time to call it for tonight. I'll write more tomorrow.

just me...

Hmmm .. I really should be going to bed-- but I really want to figure out how to put a pic on here.. so here goes..
ok so this works! yay!... here's part of the fun of Halloween at our house!

well hasn't this been an experience... found out what happened to my other entries.. they had gone to another exact replica blog...(?) guess I really musta goofed soemwhere in the setting up ! lol! ... oh well now I only have one soooo i'm easier to find... or something! lol!
Well it has been a VERY busy day.. got up Jamie went to his son's game.. I didn't go needless to say.. some days I wonder how the world got so.. stilted & strange.. but it did & now we just deal with it... :(
Anyhwho .. made good use of his absence to get in a UBWO.. kinda makeshift at home but hey I got creative! ( mental note I need a new ball !..that one is TOO small! aaak! lol ! ) ya I wiped out but hey I kept going!
So next was a rousing round of pulling up the whole garden weeding & raking all the damn maple leaves & whirlly gigs for 3hrs! ( I dunno what else to call them! :P ) So I got done all that just in time to have shower & ...yep you guessed it come to WORK! Blaaaaaaa right now I want a hot tub & a massage & a hot yummy drink,, & my Jamie..& to SLEEP----- ok so I go check on the pts one last time & finish charting instead! Tbbhhhhhht! don't like that ! LOL!

well this has been a Good day over all- so far ...lol! Still have to get to work & get through an 8hr shift ...* yawn* I would always rather be taking a nap about now!
So the day started off well with notes from Janel & Chrissy ( both ON the BFL game right now) & that was great encouragement to get up & at it.!! :) Somedays it's just getting out of the damn house that seems impossible.. I think there's some seriuous psychological component to that .. but we'll deal with that another day! lol! Had a quick "Chat " with Jim Stone on Messenger.. glad to know he's doing ..ok - was a bit worried that his Blog seemed to be ..missing(?)
So hit the Gym did a warm up on the cross rainer then did a LBWO felt good just to be getting thru' it :)
Then did a quick shop bef. I had to pick up kids from school.. ( Fri being a half day & all)
I was such a good girl... cottage cheese, brocoli, chicken, BIG bag of brown basmati rice & some kashi go Lean ceareal to try ...yep that's BFL shoppin' all the way! LOL!
Nuff for now gotta help darling daughter Jessica study her French...

OK lets see if this works... I have to get someone to show me how this thing works! Any offers??
I've been lurking around all sort of peoples Blogs that I used to go to the Tracker to "hear" from for inspiration... Lately I've just lurked around there too.. & I'm sad to see that the world is blowing up there-- Again!! It's hard to see when it has such amazing potential to be a fantastic support system for any one trying to learn, stick to, or(like in my case) get back to following the BFL lifestyle. I thought this fall after beign away all summer, that I could just jump back in there... not so- even then it was showing signs of ... I dunno-- self destruction.. I remember all too well feeling abolutely horrible about all the garbage that had gone on earlier this year-- before the "BIG CRASH" & BFlifers takeover -(lol).. I have more than enough drama in my own life to deal well with that sort of emotional rollercoaster!

We'll just have to see how this works out.

OK well here we go with this... I really don;tknow what I'm doing yet but as with anything else I guess I'll figure it a s I go! Sooo after a long summer & a fall that has been a blur of failed attempts to get back to the gym on a consistent basis on my own I've realised that I need that structure of the BFL program & the support of like minded friends. Not that I don't love my family .. it's just that they are all too willing to let me salck off & do a rousing round of nothing except cook & bake for them!