Better day all around!...

Well today has been an improvement over yesterday... I decided to get off my sorry butt & quit being a colosal wimp! Getting pissed at myself isn't goin to change anything--Life only moves forward!
Hmmmmm there's something in that.. Now if I could remember that all the time it would be Great!

Anywho hit the Gym first thing this Am had a fantastic warm up cardio that turned into a HIIT by the middle of things..then headed down the stairs ( yes- the changeroom & Cardio is Upstairs --sometimes I think for entertainment value ! ~Lol) Got to the leg room & blasted through a great LBWO!!! WHOOOOO HOOOO

then home, had a chat with Suzanne..:) always nice to yack about..well pretty much everything!-- from her wonderful weekend..(Congrats again you two!!!) to all the recent Tracker junk..I'm not going there..I'm talking about GOOD things now...LOL!


& then yacked on the puter for a bit to my sis :) & Crissy -who I talk with almost daily ! wrote a couple emails ..tried to post some blog responses & decided the Gods were saying "get in the shower you twit!!"

Then I got to pack up for WORK --yep work --Lucky me it's Valentines & I'm at work!

Welllllll I got a very nice special suprise...

Jamie came in with Japanese food ( ummmm yes I know that was NOT authorised! LOL extra cardio for me tomorrow! )
& he brough me an amazing arrangement of my favourite flowers fresias & lillies!! The whole nursing office smell absolutely HEAVENLY even as I type!

& you have to understand that he's never been a big fan of Valentines... one too many demading girlfriends in his past that EXPEXTED everything.. :( so I've always kept it pretty low key.. we don't need ONE day to tell us that we love each other...we frankly do that EVERY day ! But a surprise ...well that is always wonderful - & to get to see him when I have to work..that is a treat! :)


Yes I think I am a very lucky girl... & very thankful for all the good things & good people in my world!


Soooo to all of you my lovely Blends....MMMMMMMMMMUUUUUUUUAAAAAH! :)

Let's play a game..

It's called the "FUN & not so FUN of losing the same 5-10 pounds over & over"!!!

Oh yippeeeeee doesn't THAT sound like a THRILLING game???
C'mon..I know you wanna join in on it & write down all the neeto peachy keeno pro's & con's list!!!

Alrighty..PRO's

well week six is not weird or strange...in fact you've seen that # several times.. having gotten to about week 7-8 on a few of my unfininshed challenges ..hey week 6 is REALLY familar!

the changes that you see & feel - you know- the subtle loss of Ta-ta's is now comforting & not frightening

the numbers on the scale..you know they are going to come to a screeching halt & drive you insane for at least a week or so

the stats..hey couldn't you just cut & paste them from one challenge to the next?? saving time & valuable energy?!

new Clothing shopping??-- oh no..not an issue hell there's clothes that should be just sectioned off into FAT( aka elastic-ville) Middleground..(ok fine you get buttons now - but don't get too damn cocky girl ) & YA FRIKIN RIGHT! ( the things you buy thinking that you'll get down to- & never actually do!..



OK nuff of that now the CONS...

well for starters the general frustration & disgust with yourself that you repeat this damn cyle OVER & OVER...

the temptation to just say forget this ... why bother...

the self analysing that seems to get nowhere except to the conclusion that you don't have the self disipline to push yourself to the limits

the wondering why you seem to get let life get in the way of what you see as your ultimate goals...

the gnawing self doubt as to whether those goals could EVER be attainable...

ok I'm stopping-- this is just running off from being droll & witty into the depressing ...sorry!




OK well needless to say I'm frustrated & a Little sarcastic right now.---ok maybe just a bit more than a little.( see Tracey..I toldja in my secret heart I'd fit in with those on your other site!)

Any who---gotta go get kids to catcha all later

Moving on....

Your Five Variable Love Profile

Propensity for Monogamy: Your propensity for monogamy is medium. In general, you prefer to have only one love interest. But it's hard for you to stay devoted for too long! There's too much eye candy to keep you from wandering. Experience Level: Your experience level is high. You've loved, lost, and loved again. You have had a wide range of love experiences. And when the real thing comes along, you know it! Dominance: Your dominance is low. This doesn't mean you're a doormat, just balanced. You know a relationship is not about getting your way. And you love to give your sweetie a lot of freedom. Cynicism: Your cynicism is low. You are an eternal optimist when it comes to love and romance. No matter how many times you've been hurt - you're never bitter. You believe in one true love, your perfect soulmate. And if you haven't found true love yet, you know you will soon. Independence: Your independence is low. This doesn't mean you're dependent in relationships.. It does mean that you don't have any problem sharing your life. In your opinion, the best part of being in love is being together.

The Five Variable Love Test

OK I don't agree with the first one... I"m decided settled & pathetically monogamous!!! ...I guess being happy witll do that to ya eh?

Not to say I don't LIKE eye candy ... but I'm sure not gonna do anything about it anymore! ~lol

Geeeeee now THAT was fun!.....NOT

For those of you that missed the fun there was a bunch af well to put it mildly ...f#$% 'in Garbage goin on at Tracker today .
. I missed the begining since I was at work..& amazingly ...working! Until my dinner break I was blissfully unaware that a bunch of Magpies ..with new names no less.. had decided that thing were too damn nice & pleasant around there I guess...

I'm tired now from spending most of my free moments this eve on the damn computer burying the mess... Really there is no other good way to deal with this sort of thing... trying to retaliate just stirs it up even more & frankly gives them "airtime" they don't deserve!..Besides..I just couldn't leave things knowing that some poor "new kids" could walk in & step in that!

So I wanna say a BIG thanks to Jess ,Tracey, Janel & Christie (& Rod..even tho I don't think he blogs! ~lol) & anyone else who helped clean up ...if I forgot you ..My sincier appologies... it's flippin late ...& I really should be in bed!!!

The only good thing...is not leaving the nursing office except to check on pts... I didn't eat any CRAP!!! & there was a BIG chocolate pie in the fridge! LMAO...

ok..I'm really over tired.. ;)

Lost in Translation...

Well I had an awesome workout this AM..& I do mean I was rockin & feeling majorly pumped!! I was feelin like Zena Warrior Princess!!! whooo hooo!!

OK maybe a bit too much cafeine in my veins..& maybe it was just the army green t-shirt & Sunshine that had me hyped!!
Whatever it was I had this great grand idea to come home & take some pics of my arms...which I'm liking today..I'm having a day where I feel I can embrace my muscularity ..instead of wishing that I were more slim & petite. So I figured better enjoy it while it lasts!
All I've managed to do in the hour I've been home is take some really BAD pictures!!! Damn I suck at this !! LMAO!!
Oh Man...taking pics while trying to pose.. is just retarded!!! there has GOT to be better way to try to show you what I see... I think I can see some real definition happening in my biceps...& I wanna show you what I'm happy about..:) How can it be this difficult??

Oh welll...here ya go... one slightly cockeyed, & rather messy looking girl ( told ya I don't go for the glamor look now didn't I ?) But I'm happy ..& swiftly on my way to tired now from a good workout! Hope you're all havin a good one too!

Better than flowers...

I got a very neat surprise today..& one I wouldn't have expected in a million yrs!

I've had a kinda rough week.. ( hence the blog filler tests.. ;) when I'm in a down mood I don't feel I should be laying it on you all... & really it's all pretty mundane stuff- nothing I can change or ask for advise about ..just get thru.

Any who I was thinking earlier that I was having a pretty good day & I should write SOMETHING.. but really what the heck is in my life of any excitement?? I mean I'm not talented enough to write thought provoking stuff like K.. & I'm not in the thro's of new Love like Jess & Bev.. I'm not going anywhere interesting having great amazing #s in my workouts like most of you , my kids are doing fine.. & Frankly I could never top Tracey for pure shock value ! I could go on & on listing all the interesting things going on in everyones world... some difficult & heart wrenching..christie I hope u find your answers..& Kim I hope she finds her peace.Some are exciting like Kana & casey & the others that are Melting away.. it's really contagieous excitement ...or The ongoing saga of Dub, Suzanne & the cross continental love story they 've let us be part of!

On & on the list goes...really , I said it before ..I keep closer tabs on you all than some members of my family! & when I wanna share stuff with you ..I don't wanna bore you to tears...

I was racking my brain trying to come up with something happy & uplifting to share since I was in a good mood...but nothing was quite "it" ...

So I decided once I got to work I'd pop into Tracker...see how the world was around there.. I now I don;t spend half the time there that I used to... between Life & checking blogs I just don't have as much time!
For whatever reason ..I decided to wander into the top 20 list.. don't usually go looking there, mostly just cruise the forums & check out the newest profiles & changes....
Well to my shock..( & I do mean shock ..I yelled WHAT??? right here in the nursing office...oops! ;)

MY NAME IS ON THE LIST!!!!

I have NO idea how it got there... I really don't get it... I can see the others that are doing really well...or those that have had obvious great Challenges...& now that I think of it ...most of you ,are or have been on there..which is very cool I realy am excited to see my "blends" getting the recognition they deserve!!

But never did I expect to see myself there!!!
Even last yr at my best I was "ok" but nothing "WOW" I gotta vote on that...
& NOW...akkkkk all I have to look at this year is post X-mas "I know where all the Goodies went" blobby Girl!!

So I just wanted to share this bit of very NEAT news!! & I've spent the rest of my free time tonight "paying if forward" in the beginners section..& sending PM's .... something I've gotten away from in between being busy & feeling kinda down..

I still have NO idea who or how...but I'm really thrilled mostly that it reminded me to keep on pushing & striving to be better..& to really put into practice Bill's idea of reciprocity!! Giving back...one of the things that makes me truly HAPPY!!
Hmmm maybe that's fate having a hand in things... who knows eh?


Have a great week end all!

Something cute & mindless..No more colour tests!

Your Love Life Secrets Are

Looking back on your life, you will have a few true loves. You've been deeply wounded in the past, and you're still recovering from that hurt. You expect a lot from your lover - you want the full package. You tend to be very picky. In fights, you love to debate and defend yourself. You logic prevails - or at least you'd like to think so. Break-ups can be painful for you, but you never show it. You hold your head high.

Your Love Life Secrets, Revealed

Ok..now this just sorta scared me...

I know I'm heading into a really bad pre-PMS phase..& at least Jamie & I can talk about all my irrational insecurities..but that doesn't make them any less hard to live through.

I'm startled this test just brought all my worst fears & doubts out into the light for me to have to look at.. or maybe I'm just seeing it that way!.. ;)

pamela took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! "Wants to make a favorable impression and be recogn..." Click here to read the rest of the results.

hmmm the print on this is too light .. I first thought the link didn't print..but it's there just almost invisible.... Geee what does THAT say! ~lol

NOT ready yet...

Ok I know it's the end of week 4...& there has been ups & downs & many things going on in EVERYONES world.We 've made it thru the first Third of the Challenge folks!! YAY us!!! WHOOOOOOO HOOOO!!


But ,ummmm welll ahhhhh I...ummm I Don't wanna take pics yet...I really don't!! Yes I know Janel you & Teresa seem all psyched..& I"m happy for you ..I am. but not me...

I was talking to Jim this morning..( hope you don't mind my blithering about it Jim..;) but I said to him as well that I don't wanna... I'm not just being stuborn.. I really am scared that by NOT seeing results..I'M gonna get discouraged.. & to be honest .. it this stretch of the road there isn't gonna be much to see... I've done this first part more times than I can to think about .. so I KNOW that it takes time, that really there is NOTHING to see on the outside for me. Yes my brain is fully aware that all the lovely wonderful things are goin on underneath...but it WON"T show!!


Am I just being a wimp ..or am I just not wanting to set myself up for a bad start to next week...

I dunno...

Love & hate relationship with the mirror..

What is it about mirrors?? Yesterday I was noticing as I was getting dressed that as I was putting on one of my tops that there was decidely "less" of me breast wise... which in my case is not entirely a bad thing. For me it's a sure indicator that I'm heading in the right direction..."Yay my boobs are disapearing!!!" WTF?? Ya..well we're a weird bunch & strange things make us happy eh? ;)

& even this moring at the Gym while doing pec deck I was admiring the muscles that seem to be appearing in the chest & shoulder area... one of the few parts of my body I actually like... So I'm all happy thinking YAY me I'm working hard seeing results & tra lalala .... Well THAT was short lived!
I was doing biceps with the machine pulleys & was checking my form in the mirror & it kinda went like this....

"ok arms are looking good tucked in , shoulders in line, back straight"... - hell I was almost tempted to ditch my hoodie & pretend I was Trac in my sports bra tank...just to see the muscles in my arms!

& then it all came to a crashing HALT... I got down to the side view of my BUTT & legs.....EEEEEEEEEEEEEWWW! that is NOT a pretty thing to look at !! MAN,what is with all the JUNK in my TRUNK??! I wanted to run out of there, break the mirror , crop the picture ...SOMETHING!!!

What is it about lower bodies that seem to be the bane of our existence?? I dunno.. half of me wants to cry cause the reality is soo yucky & where I want to be seems about a thousand miles away...& the other half says Damn Girl you can beat this... hard work , more cardio & less crap in your face WILL fix this... but not today..

hmmmmmm sitting on my Butt here isn't much help is it either??? LOL .. better go do something...

Nother makeshift day..

Well to start my week I have the kids at home for a Pro-d day & I work later to boot so going to the gym just isn't gonna happen! Grrrrr... I'm gonna try to go upstairs now to do some sort of work out .. hopefully without too much interuptions..

( this Moring I've just spent the last hour & a half at or near the computer working on a school project with my daughter.. )
You gotta love how when they have something THEY wanna do it is all they can think about !!! So now that that is out of the way & I don't have to listen to repeated calls of "MOM... can you look at this .. or MOM ..how does this go or MOM -- Steven is bugging me or MOM....." Be very thankful those of you that just have to deal with the possibility of Idiots at the Gym today! ~lol

Ok- off I go to try to make myself look like the Girl (?) on Tracy's Blog!!
AAAakkk NOOOOO .. but at least it's incentive to go do SOMETHING!

NOT how my day was supposed to go..

Well today is supposed to be LBWO.. I do say supposed 'cause I don't know if THAT is gonna happen.. ( mind you, I didn't say WAS so I haven't totally given up on figuring a way to get my W/O in...

What's up you say?.. Well I had a VERY over warm boy crawl into my bed this morning..Yea ,whether it's the Mommy or the Nurse I knew right away we're dealing with a fever! OH JOY... & complaining of a sore throat to boot . Now does it make me a Bad Mommy that my first thought was not "OH you poor soul" ...But DAMN this is gonna mess up my day! ....akkkk there goes my Mother or the Year Award!!

So I've managed to get darling daughter off to school .. Thank the gods Jamie was doing home office work this Am ..& now I've got on here for a sec... but only a sec.. he keeps crawling up in my lap ..Yes he's 7 but he still does that when he's not feeling well.. or really any time he just wants warmth & loves ! - he's always been that way !

So we're gonna cuddle up on the couch & read or maybe see what kids educational shows are on any more...I'm out of the loop to say the least! ~lol~

& I've made us a Mommy & Me protien shake (yes-- I give them to my kids.. they've always liked them!) --Ok so his has a bit of Hot chocolate mix in it!!
Do ya blame him for LOVING it !
So I'll have to check in with everyone's Blogs later...

Hope you're all well...
I'll be thinking of ya...from under the blankies... ;)

Do I have a sign on me?....

That says Come up & chat me up ??? Geees what is it this past week?! 3 different guys at they gym have come up asking the usual obscure "hey So how long have you been working out ?" questions...

Now I've gotta say up front-- DO NOT go the gym dressed to impress... SO WTF??
I pull my hair back in a pony ... pretty much no make up.. ( ok where's DG.. I don't ever go out without mascara -never have, LOL...) but other than that NOTHING!! I dont' wear cute little outfits ... mostly my fave pilates type pants ( cause they stretch -specially now when it's TOM! Arrg! ) & a t-shirt with a zip hoodie if its cold. Now bear in mind noneof this is pink or any other color designed to attract attention.. infact it's all black or grey .. I know boring but hey ..

So what the heck is it that is making these guys come talk to me ?? Is it the wornout work out gloves... the glaring at myself in the mirror trying to get the last few reps out ??? I have no idea!!

I'm not hating it ... just feeling a little weird about it .. one guys even started helping me take off plates to keep talking to me ! & when I metioned kids ( rather pointedly by this time! ) he said -really you have kids?? Wow you're in really good shape then! Not sure how to take that at all! I'm thinking see some of my friends.. ( this especially means some of YOU guys !! you know who you are!!! )

Any who this whole thing is bizarre when I'm feeling like I'm a big YUCK ( did I metion the cold sore that's still not healed .. ick! ) I'm no where NEAR where I want be shapewise ..& it's TOM to boot!

Things that make you go HMMMMMMM-ya this is it Baby!!

after a fun week end ..

Your Love Element Is Fire

In love, you are a true listener and totally present. For you, love is all about feeling more alive than you've ever felt. You attract others with your joy and passion. Your flirting style is defined by your strong ability to communicate. Fun and play are the cornerstones of your love life. And while your flame may burn too brightly, it's part of your appeal. You connect best with: Wood Avoid: Water You and another Fire element: will likely burn out quickly

What Element Is Your Love?

I'm so excited! ...

& I just can't hide it! ..I'm about to lose control & I think I like it ! YEaaaa.. !!

Ok.. this thing still needs to have music note icons so you know that I'm singin! :) I've gotta tell you I'm totally sleep deprived ( no -I never did get more than 5 hrs a night all week) so I'm a bit whacked .. but mostly it's because MY JAMIE is comming home !!! we leave in a bit to pick him up from the airport :) this is the longest we've ever been apart & I really can't believe I survived it!
Yes I know I'm a pathetic love sick fool ..... but as Travolta once said..Ain't it cool?! ~lol

BFL wise I've had great week .. had some kick ass workouts & great HIITS ... with a bit of extra cardio for good measure! My eating has been on track ...geeee would you believe I ate a lot of chicken for some reason???? ;)

Hmmmm I gotta say I'm a bit punch drunk I think, from lack of sleep but I'm feeling GOOOD!

So to quote ,I beleive it was..our Bev.."I'm all shaved up " & ready for a wonderful REUNION night !!!

Catch ya all after....;)

When I grown up...

this is what I wanna look like! Elaine Goodlad.. I mean she's 40 & is this drop dead Gorgeous!
I admire especially that she's not these little stick girls that you sometimes see ...I could never aspire to that. The genetics would never fit. the gods just desided to put me together with too much muscle. ( My dad never minded growing up either that I could chop wood better than most boys! ~lol)

& besides I can dream right.. I mean hey, when I leave mine wet .. our hair almost matches! ;)

Yep -I'm feeling better today thinking about dreams instead of wallowing in night mares :)

The one thing I CAN control...

FOOD... yes , food I can deal with-- OK soo this is bordering on insanity cooking 19 chicken breasts at a time! ~lol~ .....but every thing else in my world right now I can't do a damn thing about!
My sister & my nephew are still in the hospital in Alberta. She managed to get an infection in the REALLY bad tear she ended up with.. ( she & I joke about things being from "A$$hole to breakfast..." well this was.. & it's very not fun .

He(Leland ) is still in the Infant care nursery because he ended up in withdrawl from some of the meds that she is on for her Bi-polar ( yep throw all that in my worry pile too...)
My parents are apart for the first time in 37 yrs since my Mom went out to be with Cin since needless to say between work & kids I Can't!
So Dad is all weird & Mom is having to stay at Cin's on her own . FUN!

What else... hmmm lets see Jamie is gone for the week to a trainining session for work in..Minisota....... I am such a wimp I don't sleep when he's gone & I miss him so much it's stupid!-we're used to talking to each other a dozen times a day & he often comes home from work early just to see me . ( Yes we are pathetic-, I know-- )

& the kids will be gone to thier Dad's tonight because I'm working so I will be comming home to a totally empty house.... I'm NOT real good with that...

OH.. yes & did I mention I'm probably PMSing to boot!? & it's not the bitchy kind -- oh NOOO it's the way over emotional "the sky is falling" type.

I know that others have things going on in their life that are more serious... but right now all of this is just a little overwhelming..

Glad I finally got that out instead of hiding & saying nothing... thanks

After too too much wine...

I seem to have thought I was Bev!!!

Oh man! soooo glad New years is done for another whole year!

JAN 2 A BIG DAY IN MY WORLD



JAN 2 ...Its finallllly here!!! I know we've all been waiting for it for a while-- getting back on Track, & Tracker ~lol~ doing the Meltdown, or Torch Challenge or whatever may be your direction of choice, but I have to rave about some thing TOTALLY UnBFL for a sec!

I'M AN AUNTIE... a slightly sleep deprived one ~lol because the call came at about 3 something this am ...I was sooooo excited I couldn't get back to sleep...ended up going to TRACKER instead who knew?! LMAO! ;)

Then I climbed back in bed & just layed there...I started thinking about going out to see my sister( I miss her like CRAZY )...wondering what Leland my new nephew looks like Nephew..what a neat thing... I honestly thought she would NOT ever have kids..Medical issues just said NO in her world... So this is sooooo cool!!!!

I've been wating to post this so I could maybe get some pics up for you.. but my BIL finally sent pics & they are HUGE & I am lost when it comes to sizing things on here!!! LAME Lame lame.. I know
if anyone can walk me through it I'm willing to try!

Well other than being abit of a zot ...My day was pretty busy.
I did a great UBWO Great start to the day...THEN...took my pics ... Even wore the fancy suit I bought near the end of Challenge 1...the suit is great-it's a gorgeous colour..but even then it was tight.. I figured that I was gonna get SMALLER...Oh man!! I wanted to BAWL!!
So very Glad I did that after the workout...Geeeees girl what a MESS!
The holidays did a number on me..ok & ME ..I did this.. I gotta take some resposibilities don't I?!
So now it's back at things FULL tilt!!
FAT AUNTIE reporting for duty!!
WHAAAAAAA! ....... I don't wanna have to change my name to that!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL!!

well I'm sitting here working on less than 5 hours sleep... yep we stayed up WAAAAAY to late..

Geees I didn't even know that we could still do that ~I thought we were just too damn old! lol

We went from having NO concrete plans ( due to the" waiting for Baby game" & not knowing if we were even going to be around) to having several friends come over ..in waves.. So neeless to say we started the eating & drinking at about 2 in the afternoon..& then last we looked at the clock it was 5AM!!! AKKKK ! that's just retarded! But it was A LOT OF FUN!

So I'm sure that at some point today I'm gonna feel like death warmed over... right now I'm ok... not sure why... It could be that at some point during the later hours I switched over to drinking Green tea... ahhhhhh.. who am I trying to fool... I think my head is still fuzzy! LOL!

well on that --I'm gonna go back to bed & grab a few more zzzzzzzz's while we can, before kids are back later...

OH Boy -its gonna be sooooooooo good to get back on track tomorow! I don't think my body can endure too much more of this damn Season! ;)


2006 Challenge ...here I come!